Poetry: Expectations vs. Reality

Poetry: the expectations vs. reality has blown my life to bits. As a kid, I dreamed of being the complicated heroine I adored in my books. Spending hours reading and writing my own stories full of monsters and the maybe-good-maybe-not people who’d either side with a monster or kill them with a flip of a coin. Poetry never crossed my mind. Like I’ve said before, I thought it was some high-brow antiquated form of writing that was beyond my ability to understand.

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From Novels to Poetry: How Expectations Changed with Reality

But I didn’t realize then that words had something else to give, that poetry would consume me and enliven my soul. Now, I gladly spend my nights pouring myself an ice-cold glass of gin so I can loosen my brain just enough to untwist the words I’ve wrung in my mind all day, hoping that if I do, a poem will tumble out like a rockslide down a mountain.

Poetry: expectations vs. reality? It dropped into my life more than a decade ago and made it even more hellish.

Read some of my poetry HERE.

Growing Up to Find Out I’m a Poet

As I got older, I still lost myself in books. Flipping back and forth between Majors in College, I was torn between music, art, and writing. The words won me over, but honestly, I think I’d still have an unhealthy obsession if I’d chosen one of the other two. And they both still thrive, resurfacing when I get the itch to express in a different medium.

But soon, the expectations I had about what I was going to do would come crashing down thanks to reality.

I used to be a kid haunted by ghost stories, urban myths, and monsters I reckoned were just undiscovered species. Naturally drawn to the darker elements, I found myself enthralled with creatures that represented so much more than just embodied nightmares; they represented society’s fears and tensions between ideologies of the repressors and the oppressed.

Now, I’m haunted by poetry, words, and the invisible threads of communication between us that make life richer and sometimes disastrous.

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How Does This Relate to Poetry and My Expectations vs. Reality?

As a poet and writer who’s dabbled in everything from short creative non-fiction to writing a full-length novel, I’ve realized that my expectations were never going to match reality. It was never going to be straightforward.

I thought if I was going to be a writer, I’d either only write short stories or only write novels. I was confused when reality hit, and I knew I was also a poet.

Can I be a poet, too, on top of it all? Why not?

Why not write whatever I want and play with words inside and outside genres and forms. That’s what art is in the end; playing with tools that either create or destroy, wondering if something slightly different will slink out of the water. And sometimes fashioning your own tools that spin the bottle on its head.

Interested in browsing my blog posts about fiction writing? Go HERE.

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Poetry: Expectation vs. Reality

I never thought I’d like poetry, and it never crossed my mind that someday I’d be a poet. 

The Reality of Being a Poet

I’m neck-deep in poetry books and obsessed with forms. I’ve acquired too many notebooks full of collected phrases and odd words. They glow on the pages like carefully collected paint samples, glossy and matte, in thousands of different shades just waiting to be chosen.

I can’t wait to try new words and create a fresh or dark vision from the scraps I’ve collected over time. Dictionaries and thesauruses have become troves of tools. I can’t get enough of discovering a new symbol that holds a piece of human experience, ready to be reconfigured into a unique mosaic of form and meaning.

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Takeaway: I guess life is pretty surprising (when you find out you’re a poet).

Poetry has taught me that words are the most powerful tools on the planet. They can help create civilizations and destroy them. They can connect people and be used as weapons to harm and kill. Following the roots, to write poetry is to be human, to desire a connection with others over shared experiences. To feel the bright burn of emotions and thrive in them.

Poetry: Expectations Dashed by Reality

I’m still not sure sometimes if I can hold my grasp on poetry and if I can keep creating and playing with words with the same fervor that I’ve had for more than ten years. But that’s okay. Because it’s not supposed to be simple or easy; it’s poetry.

Find me elsewhere ? or learn How to Come Up With Ideas for Poems in 3 Easy Ways!

Summer in San Francisco: A Writer’s Second Year

It’s my second summer in San Francisco. The cable car bell dings in a rhythmic pulse, and I hear it grinding as it treks up Powell Street and toward Fisherman’s Wharf. It’s hotter today than the usual sixty-four degrees.

woman lying on white textile in grass field during daytime by the "Painted Ladies" in San Francisco
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I sit on a rooftop patio and type away on my relic, the AlphaSmart 3000. Three AAA batteries power this twenty-ish-year-old typewriter with a small screen that fits only four lines.

Clack clack clack, “A dream pulls away and shimmers across sunshine, fluttering off into the wind and forgotten forever.”

Another fragment of an abstract poem. Another piece of rubbish. Backspace. No, it’s not that bad for a poem written during a summer in San Francisco.

@alinahappyhansenwriter

Here’s a day in the life of a #writer in #sanfrancisco ? I’m kinda weird but I’m Happy ? I #write #fiction #shortstories and #poetry You can find out more about my #writing and me at alinahappyhansenwriter.com ?

♬ Jazz masterpiece “As time goes by” covered by a Jazz violinist by profession(962408) – ricca
My TikTok vid “A Writer’s Day in San Francisco”

Second Summer in San Francisco: What I’m Doing

It’s my second summer in San Francisco. My nights are a mix of wandering around downtown at night, visiting the Ferry Building on the weekends for lunch at Gott’s, and aimlessly writing at as many cafes as possible in North Beach, all between the hours when I’m not working or freelancing or entertaining family who come to visit.

Feel free to check out more of my posts about San Francisco?

The middle of days is the hardest to get through when the sun’s high in the sky and I can’t make out a trace of fog near Sutro Tower.

“A body hollowed out. The soul travels across lands and floats, as a spectator, over a sleeping man nestled in a grimy corner of a closed shop.”

A post from my Instagram featuring a picture of the Golden Gate Bridge.

Reflecting on San Francisco in the Summer

A pale blue sky creates a contrasting backdrop for the various buildings packed tightly together. The monstrously tall art deco building on Sutter Street houses offices for doctors, dentists, and medical practitioners. Famous hotels (I don’t think I need to name them here) surround Union Square. And an assortment of apartment buildings with their architecture spanning over the last hundred years.

photo of cityscape during daytime
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A mosaic of decades, lives, and worlds, neatly woven together in a tapestry that makes this summer day in San Francisco. I revel in the textures, the colors that span from beiges to bloody-copper reds, the light teals, and the sweet warmth of pale pink.

Writing About the City and Creative Non-Fiction

Maybe I’m romanticizing San Francisco a bit this summer. The city, its glamor, and all the history. Perhaps it’s just the ruminations of a snobby solitary writer who’s got nothing better to do than write pure gibberish and call it…writing?

I don’t know. I really don’t. I’m ready to give up tackling creative non-fiction, making parts and pieces of my life a form of reader entertainment. Isn’t it what you’re looking for? A peek inside someone else’s brain, mind, life?

A Southwest Airlines plane streaks overhead. It’s going west, or maybe it’ll make a large circle out of view and head north, south, or even east?

Car horns honk and blare. It’s getting busy down there.

A crow caws and swoops past.

This summer in San Francisco feels different; I’m more comfortable in the city. And my partner and I have our habits; the places we like to go to, the stores, shops, and routines. It felt like home from day one, but now I think we’ve really settled in.

I’ll enjoy this summer, write, read the stack of books piled by the bed, scribble out some poems, maybe a short story, and edit my novel. It’ll be a writer’s summer.


Enjoyed this post? Feel free to read Living in San Francisco: A Writer Reflects on Life or I Love Living in San Francisco: A Writer’s Reflection ? Let me know what you think! Leave a comment below and let’s chat!

Professional Writer and Mentor Helping Clients With Writing Needs

Hello there,

I’m a professional writer who loves helping people with their writing needs. Below are a couple of services I offer, take a peek to find out more and read my clients 5/5 Star reviews.


Do you have a writing project you’d love my help with that doesn’t fit any of the services you see here? Contact me with your questions.

Since May 2020, I’ve helped authors by reading and reviewing drafts of their novels, novellas, short stories, and poetry. For my Alpha Read, I specifically provide in-depth feedback in a Reader Report with a Word doc copy of their piece with Track Changes that shows my highlights, comments, and notes making it top-tier service in the field.

A Reader Who Cares: Dedicated to Becoming Your Favorite

My Alpha and Beta reading services digs deeper than the average reader. In addition to my experience in the publishing industry, I hold a Bachelor of Arts in English with a Minor in Writing Rhetoric Studies from The University of Utah. My insight can be eye-opening and invaluable to writers working toward publication.


I’ll Be Your Favorite Professional Writer and Mentor: Superb Alpha and Beta Reading

As Your Favorite Alpha and Beta Reader, I will read your work thoroughly and provide detailed feedback!

A little bit about your Professional Writer and Mentor…

As a Literary Intern for DLG Publishing Partners, I was a Developmental Editor in-training and reviewed hundreds of submissions. I love to alpha and beta read Fiction, Novellas, Short Fiction, and Poetry. My favorite genres include Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Horror, Thriller, Supernatural, and Romance. When it comes to Poetry, I enjoy literary, contemporary, and pieces that seek to push the boundaries of the form.

Services Included in My Alpha Read

  • Reader Report (reviewing concept/idea, plot, structure, characters, dialogue, overall strengths, and weaknesses)
  • Personal Letter from me to you (included in the Reader Report)
  • Word Doc copy of your piece with Track Changes containing my highlights/comments/notes

Services Included in My Beta Read

  • Feedback and answers to questions from the perspective of a general reader delivered to you in a Word Doc

Note: When ordering an alpha or beta read, please include any questions or concerns you may have.

All of these documents will be delivered to you in a compressed zip folder.

What I don’t offer:

  • Formatting your MS
  • Editing
  • Proofreading
  • Rewriting

My goal is to help you succeed by providing you with invaluable insight you can use to fine-tune your writing as you prep for publication.

Pricing That’s Flexible For Your Budget and Needs

I’m open to finding a price and delivery due date that works for both of us. Reach out if you’d like to chat about what you’re looking for in an alpha or beta read, I’m here to help.

Delivery time typically depends on the total word count of your piece and can range from 2 to 7+ business days.

Note: If you’d like an alpha or beta read for writing under 10k or over 100k words, please message me via Fiverr.

Client Reviews of My Alpha and Beta Reads as a Professional Writer and Mentor

“I am astounded at the quality of the work, the depth of the insights, and the accuracy of the comments. That the entire process of beta reading my novel of 120k words took less than the estimated three days is beyond my ability to comprehend. Alina’s communications throughout the process were concise and businesslike. In short, I will return to her with more work in the future. I will likewise recommend her to friends and colleagues.”

-yusufdel

“Alina provided honest, detailed and structured feedback. I am positive that her recommendations will enable me to progress with my work. Thank you”

-justy_here

“I was very impressed with how much effort Alina put into the delivery. She was great to work with and all her feedback was valuable to me. I look forward to next time.”

windupdurb

“Thorough, helpful notes with a very quick turn around. Alina provided me with a general overview file of my short story and a word document with tracked notes. I was hoping for lots of detailed notes and that is exactly what I got. Her suggestions will help me craft a great next draft!”

molluscus13

FAQs About My Alpha and Beta Reader Services

I have a collection of short stories that I need read. Can you help me?

Yes. When inquiring about a Beta Read, provide the total word count for ALL PIECES. If you have multiple pieces, please put them in one document .doc .docx .pdf or Google Doc.

Can you read and review my poems?

Yes. Please put all your poems in one document .doc .docx .pdf or Google Doc, and let me know the total word count.

Can I give you multiple pieces to read at the same time?

Yes, my limit is two at a time.

What does your Reader Report look like?

My Reader Report can be anywhere from 1 to 10 pages, depending on what I’m reading (short story, novella, novel). It is organized for easy readability. Also included are my “Extra Notes,” with key observations about your text drawing from my publishing industry experience.

Writing Poetry: Why I Love It and How I Became Obsessed

In this post, I’ll discuss why I choose to obsess over poetry. How I was first exposed to it and why my passion for reading and writing has led me to where I’m at today with my writing routine. I also provide multiple lists of recommended reading, book reviews, and other blog posts I’ve written about poetry.

beverage in cup next to open book of poetry
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The Root of My Obsession with Poetry

In 2011, I was exposed to poetry in a creative writing course in college. I read Wittgenstein and Maggie Nelson, which finally cracked open the world of poetry and creative writing in a way I could grasp. Since then, I’ve fallen down into a rabbit hole I don’t think I’ll ever want to get out of.

Recommended Reading: My Two Favorite Poetry and Writing Books

Remarks on Colour by Ludwig Wittgenstein

Bluets by Maggie Nelson

I haven’t been the same for years. I’ve found myself continually wanting to write and explore literature. Over time, my obsession with writing poetry resulted in various daily writing routines that I have tweaked to optimize writing output. And I’ve maintained a habit of writing for one to two hours per day since then.


Are you looking for an alpha or beta reader to review your poems? I can help! Learn more HERE.

opened book placed on table with cherries and blue flowers
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Poetry: It’s Not as Fancy as You Think and It’s for Everyone

I used to think that poetry was some high-brow artistic form of writing. I thought that I’d never be able to understand, let alone write poetry, even though I was already an avid writer and reader.

Maybe it’s because poetry is intimidating at first due to its literary history and importance to countless civilizations, both ancient and new. Perhaps it’s because of its history of religious poetry, passing down legends and mythologies, or its significant use in addressing societal and cultural shifts. This fear of poetry is pretty common for people interested in it but hesitant to jump in.

Poems That I Recommended Reading

A Hymn to God the Father by John Donne

The Odyssey, translated by Robert Fagles

Howl and Other Poems by Allen Ginsberg

white paper with black text formatted as a poem
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The Need to Read Poetry and Everything Else

I read tons of books on writing poetry. I’m keen to find reliable resources with pro tips that I can use to push my poetry in new directions. But reading poetry more than writing seems to positively affect my work. I’d highly recommend balancing time between reading and writing poetry to advance your writing.

Reading Suggestions: Excellent Books on Poetry by Robert Pinsky

My Book Reviews of Singing School and Democracy, Culture and the Voice of Poetry by Robert Pinsky 

Also, check out my list of Recommended Poetry Books and How to Read a Poem

Interested in Writing Poetry? Jump into the Rabbit Hole and Have Fun!

What can I say about poetry, about writing? Read, write, write some more, and get your hands on as much great poetry as possible. If you love it, let it become your obsession. Take joy in poetry and memorize poems you love; this has helped me compose and acknowledge the value of being able to read poetry effectively at events.

Looking for guidance and tips? Read my post How to Memorize a Poem!

Are You a Poet? Or Are You New to Writing Poetry? Let’s Chat

Do you write poetry? When did you start, and why do you continue to write? Connect with me today and leave a comment below! I’d love to know your influences and what your writing routine is.


Enjoyed this post? Here’s 3 easy ways to come up with ideas for poems!

Living in San Francisco: A Writer Reflects on Life

My cup of chamomile tea is cold. I glance out the window down at Saint Mary’s Square. I’m on the seventh floor of a nearby building in a community space typing away on my not-a-Mac laptop. It’s Saturday and the sun is out and blazing. The sun mixes the humidity in the air with aromas of the city streets: trash, piss, smoke (both cigarette and joint). I’ve been living in San Francisco for months now and I’ve let the city consume me, so now it’s time for a writer’s reflection.

When it’s hot like this I want to stay inside and sit near a large window. I want to observe people moving around like insects below, so I’m doing exactly that. Meanwhile, the tourists come in waves. They’re like migrating herds of mammals as they parade around downtown. Clogging up the street I live on, packs of touring families block sidewalks and gape up at the buildings. It’s getting harder not to run into them when they keep shifting like seagulls on a beach.

road beside buildings
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Do you like poetry? Feel free to browse a few of my poems HERE.

Where the Writer Resides: An Apartment in the City

My fault for choosing an apartment downtown. But I’m learning to deal with it because the tradeoff for being close to everything is worth it. I still haven’t lost my “rose-colored glasses” about living in San Francisco and in this writer’s reflection you can expect me to babble endlessly about how much I appreciate living here. Compared to Salt Lake City, I still consider this place a paradise with it’s own pros, cons, and complexities. Over a year after moving here, I’m grateful I made the jump. Waking up and realizing I’m in a city I actually want to live in adds to my happiness and I need every bit I can squeeze out.

I see the trees down in Saint Mary’s Square swaying in the wind. There’s a couple sitting on a bench. A family of three hunched over a red bag on another bench about fifty feet to the south. An empty stroller sits near a banana-yellow slide on the playground. I can’t spot a kid but I assume they’re there somewhere.

Radiohead: The Music Reminds Me of Living in San Francisco

I’m doing my best here. I tried listening to new music today but something about the way the sun hit made me return to Radiohead. Maybe it’s how it feels living in San Francisco that reminded me of Radiohead? Now, I’m listening to Pulk/Pull (True Love Waits Version). Remembering times over a decade ago when I sat on wet grass in Oregon.

A Writer’s Reflection Turns Into Time Travel

Memories brim to the surface and erupt. I’d sit outside for hours listening to hundreds of tracks on a brick of an iPod. Reveling the sounds as dense flog crept into the trees. Meanwhile, rain drops splattered on leaves. The wet chill that wormed under my jacket, my clothes, and into my bones. As the bugs and creatures scuttled in the greenery. The ivy choking trunks of pines, and birdsongs that echoed off the mist.

Look at me go, the words almost turn into gibberish, what a cliché writer’s reflection.

But I’m not trying to dwell on the past. I’m forcing myself to look toward the future and stay optimistic about everything. Although I have one eye on the news about Ukraine and the other scanning updates on laws passing in Red states. Despite the people’s concern about inflation, about gas prices, about this about that. I feel that t’s all compounding into a nonreality that I’m struggle to comprehend. However, this started over two years ago with the pandemic. I had no idea how to process it because I’d never experienced anything like it before.

Interested by my ramblings? You can skim more of my writer’s reflection about Life During COVID-19

A Writer’s Concerns About Everything Out of Her Control and Living in San Francisco

Now I’m concerned I’ll have to live through another coronavirus in my lifetime. I worry that hundreds of thousands more will die in and ignorance will yet again spur hatred and death. But this is all out of my control. Firstly, what am I doing to stay grounded? To not spin off into a spiral of worry over the possibility of a World War III? In this case, I’m writing, writing bilge, free writing the shit out of my mind in hopes of feeling an ounce of release. But at the end of the day, at least I’m living in San Francisco.

Transamerica Pyramid in San Francisco
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Where’s the Alina from Years Ago? What’s that Little Satanic-Obsessed Writer up to?

It’d be easier if I didn’t give a damn. Where did jaded Alina of ten years ago go? I must’ve misplaced her. Is she still nestled in the dog-eared pages of Anton LaVey books? Is she hiding behind my bookcase still crammed with texts on witchcraft and folklore? Where the hell did she go? I’d like to run into her today, although I doubt she’d be living in San Francisco then if she had the chance. A change to hear what she has to say, but she’s somewhere else now probably scribbling a writer’s reflection of my future self that’s been lost. In this situation, she could be rummaging in the back of my mind for a creepy storyline to whisper to me between sleep and dreaming.

Photo of the author Alina Happy Hansen: a writer's reflection on self
Photo of the author Alina Happy Hansen taken in May 2020 by Dallas Basta

How many selves do we shed? Do carry with us? How many blend and morph into who we are now? The things we loved then, are some of those passions with us now? What’s “growing up” in a world full of adult-children? I don’t think a lot of people actually know who they are. I don’t think the majority of people have goals, or values, or have their shit together, this isn’t breaking news.

Alice Tumbles Down the Rabbit Hole: A Writer Spins Out in Observations

Based on my observations, no one knows what they’re doing. If they say they do they’re trying to convince themselves that they have control. There’s very little in our lives that we can actually manipulate to our advantage. I’m not gonna give the lemons into lemonade cliché, that’s bullshit. What I’m obsessed with right now is acknowledging when I don’t have control over something. I have to let go and focus on the small pieces that I can work with. Consciously working toward controlling the way I think and react is helping me deal with it all, and living in San Francisco has been an invaluable setting that allows me to appreciate where I am and how far I’ve come already. If you’re in a similar spot, try it out and tell me what you think.

I’m touring Radiohead’s Kid A Mnesia album as I write this, I’m on Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors. What are you listening to? Reading? Thinking about? Are you writing your guts out like me to cope with the world around you? Leave a comment below, connect with me, and let’s chat.


Enjoyed this blog post? Please like, share or comment, I really appreciate it. Feel free to read my next reflection in this series, “Summer in San Francisco: A Writer’s Second Year ?