Poetry: Expectations vs. Reality

Poetry: the expectations vs. reality has blown my life to bits. As a kid, I dreamed of being the complicated heroine I adored in my books. Spending hours reading and writing my own stories full of monsters and the maybe-good-maybe-not people who’d either side with a monster or kill them with a flip of a coin. Poetry never crossed my mind. Like I’ve said before, I thought it was some high-brow antiquated form of writing that was beyond my ability to understand.

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From Novels to Poetry: How Expectations Changed with Reality

But I didn’t realize then that words had something else to give, that poetry would consume me and enliven my soul. Now, I gladly spend my nights pouring myself an ice-cold glass of gin so I can loosen my brain just enough to untwist the words I’ve wrung in my mind all day, hoping that if I do, a poem will tumble out like a rockslide down a mountain.

Poetry: expectations vs. reality? It dropped into my life more than a decade ago and made it even more hellish.

Read some of my poetry HERE.

Growing Up to Find Out I’m a Poet

As I got older, I still lost myself in books. Flipping back and forth between Majors in College, I was torn between music, art, and writing. The words won me over, but honestly, I think I’d still have an unhealthy obsession if I’d chosen one of the other two. And they both still thrive, resurfacing when I get the itch to express in a different medium.

But soon, the expectations I had about what I was going to do would come crashing down thanks to reality.

I used to be a kid haunted by ghost stories, urban myths, and monsters I reckoned were just undiscovered species. Naturally drawn to the darker elements, I found myself enthralled with creatures that represented so much more than just embodied nightmares; they represented society’s fears and tensions between ideologies of the repressors and the oppressed.

Now, I’m haunted by poetry, words, and the invisible threads of communication between us that make life richer and sometimes disastrous.

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How Does This Relate to Poetry and My Expectations vs. Reality?

As a poet and writer who’s dabbled in everything from short creative non-fiction to writing a full-length novel, I’ve realized that my expectations were never going to match reality. It was never going to be straightforward.

I thought if I was going to be a writer, I’d either only write short stories or only write novels. I was confused when reality hit, and I knew I was also a poet.

Can I be a poet, too, on top of it all? Why not?

Why not write whatever I want and play with words inside and outside genres and forms. That’s what art is in the end; playing with tools that either create or destroy, wondering if something slightly different will slink out of the water. And sometimes fashioning your own tools that spin the bottle on its head.

Interested in browsing my blog posts about fiction writing? Go HERE.

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Poetry: Expectation vs. Reality

I never thought I’d like poetry, and it never crossed my mind that someday I’d be a poet. 

The Reality of Being a Poet

I’m neck-deep in poetry books and obsessed with forms. I’ve acquired too many notebooks full of collected phrases and odd words. They glow on the pages like carefully collected paint samples, glossy and matte, in thousands of different shades just waiting to be chosen.

I can’t wait to try new words and create a fresh or dark vision from the scraps I’ve collected over time. Dictionaries and thesauruses have become troves of tools. I can’t get enough of discovering a new symbol that holds a piece of human experience, ready to be reconfigured into a unique mosaic of form and meaning.

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Takeaway: I guess life is pretty surprising (when you find out you’re a poet).

Poetry has taught me that words are the most powerful tools on the planet. They can help create civilizations and destroy them. They can connect people and be used as weapons to harm and kill. Following the roots, to write poetry is to be human, to desire a connection with others over shared experiences. To feel the bright burn of emotions and thrive in them.

Poetry: Expectations Dashed by Reality

I’m still not sure sometimes if I can hold my grasp on poetry and if I can keep creating and playing with words with the same fervor that I’ve had for more than ten years. But that’s okay. Because it’s not supposed to be simple or easy; it’s poetry.

Find me elsewhere ? or learn How to Come Up With Ideas for Poems in 3 Easy Ways!

Life During COVID-19 (5/28/2020): Writing to Stay Sane

I’m struggling. To stay positive, to keep it together.

I’m checking the news only twice a day now. Once, while I have breakfast and right before I go to bed. I think this practice has helped, and I’ve read about it frequently when it comes to managing stress levels about COVID-19.

But I don’t necessarily feel stressed out about COVID-19. Yes, I am concerned. I wear a mask when I go to public places like the grocery store, the only public place I’ve gone to besides Target since Mid-March. I am more worried about the next six months, the next year. I am concerned about how my life’s going to be by May 2021.

Every time I feel like I’m drowning in worry, in doubt, I have to stop and take a moment. I have to reaffirm to myself that I have to keep going, I’m not one to throw in the towel and give up. And I’m definitely not going to wallow in despair. My coping mechanism is to take action: do something. I have to. But right now, I don’t think I’m doing enough. And coming to terms that the illusion of control creates a false sense of security is my biggest problem. I am more aware now than ever that I have no control over anything, and the smartest thing I can do is keep going.

What does all this gibbering lead to? Writing

It’s all I have. It’s all I’m doing right now to stay sane. I have to write. I need to write. Writing is my anchor, keeping me right where I need to be, somewhere between my usual, level-headed, rational self and creative combustible artist.

I have regularly completed my daily goal of writing a minimum of 1,000 words a day. I recently took a crack at editing My First Novel, my first attempt over three months. I’ve been overwhelmed, let down by myself, putting my novel on the back burner. But now I have a renewed drive to finish my recent revision.

I am currently doing line-by-line edits. Revising to the structural core of my novel. Something I’ve found daunting the last year. I have tried to keep track, but I think this revision is number 6 or 7.

Completing my daily writing goal, writing half-baked poems here and there every day, and working on my novel has kept me grounded. And I’m tightly hanging on to my writing practices, the only thing that I find therapeutic and comforting during this strange time.

I don’t know what the future holds. I can’t waste time speculating. I have to take it one day at a time.

And every day, I am grateful. I think about how lucky I am to have a roof over my head, food in the kitchen, and my health. I am thankful that no one I know has died from the virus, chances are small, but it can still happen.

All I Can Do is Keep Writing

What have you been doing regularly during the COVID-19 Pandemic to keep you sane and grounded? Have you just started a new practice or hobby? I wanna know.

Besides writing, I’ve been baking like crazy, just like everyone else. I’ve revamped my Patreon page with content only patrons have access to. I’ve created a Facebook business page for my blog, started a Literary Internship for DLG Publishing Partners, and tried to make art and create music.

I want to know what you recommend. What you’ve found to be helpful. And I’d love to start a conversation with you. Feel free to leave a comment or contact me directly.

Stay safe and stay healthy, and to other writer’s out there, keep writing!

Cheers!
Alina


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I’m struggling. To stay positive, to keep it together.

I’m checking the news only twice a day now. Once, while I have breakfast and right before I go to bed. I think this practice has helped, and I’ve read about it frequently when it comes to managing stress levels about COVID-19.

But I don’t necessarily feel stressed out about COVID-19. Yes, I am concerned. I wear a mask when I go to public places like the grocery store, the only public place I’ve gone to besides Target since Mid-March. I am more worried about the next six months, the next year. I am concerned about how my life’s going to be by May 2021.

Every time I feel like I’m drowning in worry, in doubt, I have to stop and take a moment. I have to reaffirm to myself that I have to keep going, I’m not one to throw in the towel and give up. And I’m definitely not going to wallow in despair. My coping mechanism is to take action: do something. I have to. But right now, I don’t think I’m doing enough. And coming to terms that the illusion of control creates a false sense of security is my biggest problem. I am more aware now than ever that I have no control over anything, and the smartest thing I can do is keep going.

What does all this gibbering lead to? Writing

It’s all I have. It’s all I’m doing right now to stay sane. I have to write. I need to write. Writing is my anchor, keeping me right where I need to be, somewhere between my usual, level-headed, rational self and creative combustible artist.

I have regularly completed my daily goal of writing a minimum of 1,000 words a day. I recently took a crack at editing My First Novel, my first attempt over three months. I’ve been overwhelmed, let down by myself, putting my novel on the back burner. But now I have a renewed drive to finish my recent revision.

I am currently doing line-by-line edits. Revising to the structural core of my novel. Something I’ve found daunting the last year. I have tried to keep track, but I think this revision is number 6 or 7.

Completing my daily writing goal, writing half-baked poems here and there every day, and working on my novel has kept me grounded. And I’m tightly hanging on to my writing practices, the only thing that I find therapeutic and comforting during this strange time.

I don’t know what the future holds. I can’t waste time speculating. I have to take it one day at a time.

And every day, I am grateful. I think about how lucky I am to have a roof over my head, food in the kitchen, and my health. I am thankful that no one I know has died from the virus, chances are small, but it can still happen.

All I Can Do is Keep Writing

What have you been doing regularly during the COVID-19 Pandemic to keep you sane and grounded? Have you just started a new practice or hobby? I wanna know.

Besides writing, I’ve been baking like crazy, just like everyone else. I’ve revamped my Patreon page with content only patrons have access to. I’ve created a Facebook business page for my blog, started a Literary Internship for DLG Publishing Partners, and tried to make art and create music.

I want to know what you recommend. What you’ve found to be helpful. And I’d love to start a conversation with you. Feel free to leave a comment or contact me directly.

Stay safe and stay healthy, and to other writer’s out there, keep writing!

Cheers!
Alina


 

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( mm / dd )

Sun Buries Night (poem #415)

The sun buries the night,

smothering it into the hills,

heartache on the soul, encounter

of a soul alive in the darkness.

 

@alinahappyhansenwriter

My poem “Sun Buries the Night” originally written in July, 2019. You can read more of my poems on my blog www.alinahppyhansenwriter.com Like this vid? Tell me why! Leave a comment below, like, or share with friends 🙂 #poetrytok2022 #poetontiktok #poetry

♬ Smiles & Sunsets – ultmt. & Hz.

My First Novel: Moving with Austen (3/27/19)

It has been a wild two weeks and I have to admit I have fallen behind but for good reason. I am moving! It is official and even though I’ll be moving only about five miles away into downtown it’s still significant. The last couple of weeks I’ve been cleaning and packing, readying myself for the final move-in day. It will be great going to a new place right as spring is finally taking hold of Salt Lake City but my novel has suffered because of this.

I’ve edited a few passages and read the end of part one about three times since I got back from Vegas earlier this month but my heart is not in it right now. I am distracted and unable to focus. I will get better and I am almost done with the transition now and I know right when I move I will want to focus on writing instead of unpacking.

What else have I been up to? Working and reading.

Over the weekend I felt like a little Austen so I watched a movie and then watched The Jane Austen Book Club. The movie was ok but bad enough to just make me want to read Austen instead of watch people ‘read’ her.

On Monday after work, I went to one of my favorite book stores and bought a cheap copy of Persuasion by Austen. I started reading it the same day and was about halfway through by Monday night now I only have about six pages left. It is good and I don’t think I’ve ever read it before. I love Pride and Prejudice but I am more fond of the Bronte Sisters than Austen. I thought why not, I’ll work my way backward with Austen and read her last work (Persuasion) then second to last and so on. It is a lot of reading and of course, I am reading about 17 other books right now but I can’t help it.

I think it’ll be a fun little list to read but I know I’ll cave in and read some Bronte here and there, I usually read Jane Eyre about once or twice a year.

Overall, I am on a little involuntary break from working on my novel and it is tearing me up. I will work more diligently on it soon after the chaos settles until then I write a little bit here and there for practice, my daily writing.

Thank you for reading my updates and following me on my journey through writing my first novel.

-Alina

INSTAGRAM

PATREON

My First Novel: Back from Vacation (3/14/19)

Last week I was on vacation in Las Vegas, Nevada. I went out of town to visit family and took only the essentials. I was torn up between bringing my manuscript or laptop but decided against it. It was a good choice, I wouldn’t have had any time to work on my novel and I needed to focus on my family.

20190304_112233
Flying to Vegas March 2019 Photo: Alina Happy Hansen

 

I’ve been back since the 9th and today is my first day off since returning to work. It’s nice to get back into the groove of my regular schedule but at the same time, I am aware of how far behind I am.

What do I have planned for this week? Catch up on my reading, work on about 90 pages of my novel and write a few poems for submissions to literary journals. Last month I worked on one poem for about two weeks before submitting it to a lit journal. I am still waiting for a response from the journal but it was more of an exercise for me to have a deadline, a goal, a poem to work on.

20190307_173329
Las Vegas March 2019 Photo: Alina Happy Hansen

I am looking forward to returning to my characters. I feel like they’re close to smashing up the furniture if I don’t give them some attention.

What I’m currently reading:

Winesburg, Ohio by Sherwood Anderson

80176

What I’m listening to:

Bauhaus The Bela Session

 

Thank you for reading,

-Alina

 

PATREON

INSTAGRAM