Becoming Nightmare (poem #360)

Forget the sun, the eyes roll back

into a dream, full of wispy clouds

and screams. A darkness gathering

blue skies turn grey, becoming

nightmare.


 

Thank you for reading!

-Alina

 

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Sun Pulls Me Up [poem #359] and A Writer’s Life Update

Sun pulls me up

from a deep dark slumber

mixing dreams and memories

together. I am beginning to forget

which is which and who I am.


 

Writer’s Life Update:

This has been my first post in over a week. I’ve been M.I.A. because I’m currently working on draft two of my supernatural thriller. It’s my first novel and kind of a pain but I am sticking with it. Thanks for sticking with me and my poems!

What I’m listening to:

What I’m reading:

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Devotion by Patti Smith

 

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Thank you for reading!

-Alina

What’s going on? Jan. 9th, 2019 (The Holidays, Patti Smith and Self-Editing)

(Originally published on Patreon on Jan. 9th, 2019)
The holiday season is officially over and I finally feel like my daily life is back on track. Since the second week of December I was working 10-12 hour shifts at least two to three times a week plus a couple normal shifts, my family came into town, and then there was the need to shop for Christmas presents which I put off until only a few days before Christmas…as usual.
On the Christmas week, me and my partner had the same four days off. Christmas Eve and Christmas day we took turns going to each other’s families for dinner then spent the 26th together and finally had Thursday to ourselves, a day for both of us to get back on track. Getting back on track definitely did not happen for me. I ended up going to Park City to spend the night at a relatives house and didn’t get home until Friday afternoon. And the start of my workweek was that same day only a few hours later.
In summary, I don’t feel like I really had a day off on Christmas week, and then I worked all weekend. Worked a morning shift on New Year’s Eve, then worked 11 hours on New Year’s Day. Just one thing after another, got a flat tire my first day off since Christmas, then my family came back into town to say hi for New Years. Started my work week again, then on Monday my battery was dead and I had to take a lyft to work.
Finally, here I am, Wednesday, January 9th, my first real day to myself, my first real day off.
I have a million groceries to buy. I’m down to a roll of toilet paper, a cheap razor found in the bathroom closet and eating chili out of a can unless I want to eat Captain Crunch. I’m not necessarily looking forward to all the shopping I have to do but I am relieved, it feels like forever since I could wake up and know I have an entire day to get my daily life squared away.
Today’s to-do list:
Grocery Shopping
-bread
-soup
-almond milk
-razors
-toilet paper
-snacks
-tea
Laundry – might need to go to a laundromat today, washer isn’t working and dryer is questionable
Go to craft store buy yarn (I’ve been crocheting a blanket the last few months, its huge)
buy detail (fine) paintbrushes, I’m working on a plaque (acrylic paint)
Write (1-3,000 words today)
Work on Blog (set up posts for the next week, talk about where I’ve been)
Post on Patreon (this is it)
Between my shifts, coming home late at night and relaxing before I go to bed, I’ve been reading reading reading. For Christmas I got some pretty amazing books, all the books I suggested or asked for and it’s always great to get what I really wanted.
One of the books I got for Christmas is M Train by Patti Smith. Right now I only have about 50 pages left, it is approximately 300 pages long. It was a slow start and for a moment I was unsure about this Smith book but I am a huge Smith fan, I love her writing, her music, her work, everything, she is one of my biggest role models, so I stuck with M Train and finally got into the groove about 100 pages in.
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Now I’m almost done with it and I am already feeling a little sad it’ll be over soon. What I am noticing in M Train, is that Smith is weaving together many different aspects of her life such as dealing with the loss of Fred (her deceased husband), her dreams (her descriptions of her dreams are poetry, absolutely beautiful), and her travels where ever they lead her (tracing the lives of artists and writers or work).
It is an exploratory journey, reading Smith and there are so many subjects that she talks about that resonate with my ideas and my own experiences. So reading her work is both comforting as well as inspiring for me as a writer to push myself, my writing, and at the same time really be aware, live life and be present with each experience as an individual and as an artist.
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This book is amazing, I am already half-way finished with it and it is the perfect companion in helping me with my first completed rough draft of my book. The advice is amazing and it also includes useful tips, questions, and exercises to help writer’s practice what they’re learning.
Self-Editing talks about dialogue, beats, narration, show and tell, point of view, interior monologue and much much more. It’s written in a very comfortable and clear voice that makes it incredibly easy to read and I’d have to say it is the best book I’ve read thus far on editing/writing fiction. 
I am reading other books right now, about 12 to be honest, but these two are the ones I’ve been focusing on the most recently. I feel like there is a lot that I can gain from giving so much of my time and attention to picking apart M Train while at the same time absorbing everything Self-Editing has to say.
These two books, I know will be pivotal to this month and my writing. For the month of January I plan on finishing my second draft of my book and chiseling out a rough outline of chapters, parts and plots so that I can get started on my third draft which should be (I hope) close to a place where I can start giving sample chapters to people to read (an idea I am playing with, it could be a bad idea).
I look forward to the rest of January and I know that this year will be amazing. I have a load of fantastic books to finish reading, tons of plans for my writing, and a good amount of content that I can start working on to submit to literary magazines in hopes of publication.
Thank you for reading, please feel free to comment or message me.
-Alina

 

My Monthly Spotify Playlists for 2018

Every month I make a playlist on Spotify filled with songs I just discovered, I love, I can’t get out of my head but ultimately the songs that reflect my mood during the month. This is the first time I’ll be making a massive post on my blog featuring my monthly playlists of 2018. For some months I became really obsessive over my music, Discover Weekly playlist and I found a lot of great new music so there are “prt.2’s” for a few months in 2018.

The Spotify widgets just feature snippets, if you want to listen to my playlists in full click on the Spotify link to the playlists page.

January 2018: The beginning of my last semester of college

February 2018: just dawned on me it is my last semester, bizarre

March 2018: so close to graduation, don’t know what to do with myself

April 2018: finals, finals, finals

May 2018: Graduated finally, got my BA in English and feeling lucky, turned 25 and feeling useless

June 2018: Job hunting and not enjoying the weather, too hot, Poetry Reading at the Utah Arts Festival

July 2018: A month of sweating, scorching heat and irritation

August 2018: more irritation…the job market is looking daunting

September 2018: Hard at work looking for writing jobs and working on my blog, began crocheting a giant blanket…I still haven’t finished.

October 2018: Crazy about Halloween, spent the entire month watching horror films, reading scary stories and obsessing over Elvira. Created a Patreon page.

November 2018: Spent the entire month of November participating in NaNoWriMo

December 2018: Kind of in a daze, obsessed with my book and trying to work on draft #2 so far only half way through.

Thanks for poking around and taking a look at my music selection. I hope you find something new maybe even something you like.

-Alina

A Wild Year: My Top Songs on Spotify, Currently Reading List and Reflecting on 2018

This year has gone by too fast and I feel like I am still trying to catch up. I have gotten a lot done this year from my graduation at the University of Utah with my BA (finally) to a PAID poetry reading at the Utah Arts Festival in June, to finishing the first rough draft of my book Ghost in the Woods for NaNoWriMo.

Since it’s the end of the year, I thought I would give a quick update on what I’m listening to and reading.

Spotify “Alina’s Top Songs of 2018”

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Goodreads “Currently Reading” List

Currently reading 1

currently reading 2

There are A LOT of books on my “Currently Reading” list and I am trying to widdle it down a bit before the New Year but I guess I’ll see how successful I am with that. One book that isn’t on this list that I’ve been reading every day now is Collected Sonnets by Edna St. Vincent Millay, my copy is really old and falling apart. I had to spend a good hour last week taping pages back together into the seam of the book. I’m about halfway through it and I love it, Millay is amazing with Sonnets and she makes it look so easy.

Highlight of my 2018:

Going to “An Evening with Neil Gaiman” last month was amazing. Gaiman had some great advice to give and thankfully many questions from the audience were geared towards writing and publishing. It was also so much fun to hear Gaiman read a little from some of his books.

Last Adventures: Discovering “Found Poetry

Last week I sort of stumbled on “Found” poetry. It’s a form that I am sure I’ve come across before but up until now haven’t given a second thought too. Found Poetry is a form where people can find poetry in everyday life, like text, billboards, magazines etc. For instance, I was inspired to mess around and try “finding” some poetry in a local newspaper at work this week.

FOUND POETRY on my Instagram story highlights

I was pretty surprised at what I found and now I am hooked. My hands are stained from newspaper ink, markers, pens, and I have already begun putting my found poems together in one notebook making a sort of hand-made chapbook. (I will make an official post about my Found Poetry soon)

Conclusion:

I am stoked for the New Year and I am working hard to set up my work and myself for an even more successful year. What am I working on right now? Submitting my best-polished work to literary journals and magazines, putting together a small chapbook of my poems to self-publish (maybe) on Kindle, and finishing my book Ghost in the Woods so that I can start submitting it to literary agents/publishers.

What do I want to accomplish in 2019?

Honing this blog into a more coherent and substantial literary blog, maybe even monetizing it, providing more content to my followers/readers that can actually help them.

Sidenote:

A couple months ago I finally set up a Patreon Creator Page. My Patreon is different from this blog in that it provides “behind-the-scenes” access to my creative process, work (including rough drafts), and special updates. This is a more personal online venue where my followers can show their appreciation for my work by becoming Patrons and giving a little bit of $ to contribute to my writing.

Right now I am offering Help/Tutoring to those that donate $20/month to my Patreon.

Be a PATRON! Subscribe to my Patreon for one month ($20) and receive one on one help with your writing for an entire month!

It’s been a great year and I can’t wait for 2019!

I want to say Thank you to all of my Followers, subscribers, and to any readers that stumble on this post. Thank you for reading!

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

Alina Happy Hansen October 2018

-Alina