I haven’t been posting as many reflections on Life During COVID-19, politics, things happening, and adjusting to living in SF. I’ve been caught up in catching up. Between work, writing, and numerous trips back and forth between California and Utah, I feel like I haven’t had the time to sit, reflect, and write. So this post is a little warbly, moving all over the place as I start to get back on track.
Feeling Fall in SF
Subtly, the turn happens, and I can feel it in the air. It’s October, and fall is here. My boyfriend told me when he lived in SF all those years ago; he could never precisely remember what time of year it was when he recalled events because there aren’t drastic visible changes that mark the turning of seasons, at least not like in Utah.
But I’ve noticed, the few trees in the city, they look different. The heavy salty scent of water in the air is different even when mixed with the aromas of piss, shit, and trash. The change is abstruse, but I can see it. There is a Fall in SF, and I am enjoying its peculiar attributes.
The Roaring Blue Angels
I am munching on toasted honey wheat slices smeared with artichoke antipasto. I’ve drunk my coffee, and I’m trying to ignore the roaring Blue Angels as they sweep over the city, reminding me of the stories of Nazis dropping bombs on London during WWII. I’ve had a fear of planes flying low, the sound, the unknown, waiting to hear something more. Explosions and screams. I think this came from watching the Twin Towers fall into rubble on TV when I was a kid. Being told it was real, it’s not a movie; people are dead—murdered. It’s stuck with me.
Something that’s lived in the back of my mind, that death can strike like lightning, taking us out in an instant. I can’t take a moment for granted since then. Constantly aware that one moment leads into another, and then suddenly, it could abruptly end.
These feelings are so closely linked with the seasons changing into fall, my favorite time of year, when decay is beautiful, and a primordial power surges like rushing waves over every single thing.
A Month of Halloween Vibes
Halloween is approaching, but the month of October feels like a month-long celebration. It oozes from every fluctuation in the air, a magnetism that whips out from some other world. Could this possibly be the veil thinning that I’ve read so much about?
This year is different. I’m living in SF. The pandemic is ongoing, now over 700,000 dead, and I feel like the country continues to suffer from whiplash. Trump, politics, murder, the government continuing to neglect the people.
It’s like blood in the mouth, the taste of it hard to swallow, so it just pours over lips and drips to the ground, staining that spot indefinitely. The traumas, the life-changing events they’ve marked me, stained me in ways I’m not sure I can figure out right now.
Creeping and Living in SF
I’m listening to Thom York’s Creep (Very 2021 Remix). The rhythm has been slowed down to a bone-aching pulse. The eight-minute remix somehow sounds like a brand new song, but it’s so familiar. And yes, it feels like 2021; the stagnation, the PTSD, the hollowness of it all. And somehow, it all mingles with my first experience of fall in SF and, soon, Halloween.
I love this city. I thought maybe this would be an excellent place to rest for a few years before moving up the coast. But now I’m sure that this is a permanent home. Where else can I blend in so seamlessly? Where else can I experience so much culture and diversity within forty-seven square miles? SF has history, it’s alive, and underneath it all, there is something adoringly spooky about it that I can’t help but revel in.
An End to a Prelude
So, consider this short blog post a prelude to what I’m thinking will be a much longer piece focusing on the pandemic. I’m getting back into gear, and I will be posting more poems and prepping for NaNoWriMo 2021.
Until then: I have a few questions for readers.
If you live in SF, do you notice a change in the seasons? What do you think of the Blue Angels? Are there any spooky stories about SF that you’d like to share?
Leave a comment, start a conversation, or ask me a question below.
I’m excited to announce that I will be reading some of my poetry as a Literary Artist at the Utah Arts Festival! Click HERE to find out more.
Initially, I was supposed to read poetry at the UAF in 2020, but the pandemic stopped that, and I’m glad. Staying home and staying safe helped to save lives. While staying home, I wrote, read, changed jobs, started freelancing, and prepared to move out of state. Over a year later, I’m living in San Francisco, advancing my career and brainstorming ideas for a new novel. I’m thrilled to be reading some of my poems at the UAF once again, and I can’t wait!
Check out my post about my first poetry reading at the 2018 UAF here.
I’ve been m.i.a. for a while and I thought I’d share why: I’m participating in Inktober this year, putting my own spooky spin on it. Plus I’ve been reading like crazy.
Keeping my mind busy outside of work has helped me process a lot of the ups and downs of this week and last when it comes to politics, events, and COVID-19. Plus Election day is getting closer and I find myself increasingly anxious, I think a lot of people are.
So here we go, my first ten ink/pencil drawings for this year’s Inktober plus what I’m currently reading Lovecraft Country by Matt Ruff (it’s amazing!)
I’d love to know if anyone is participating in Inktober or if you’re currently reading anything wonderfully spooky. Let me know! Leave a comment below or contact me directly.
Yesterday, I finally decided that I was going to read Mary L. Trump’s book Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man. For the last month, I had been reading numerous articles anticipating the release of Mary’s book. Curious about what she had to say, I finally bought the kindle version yesterday. Of course, I’m not surprised that Trump tried to stop her from publishing this book in the final countdown before the election.
What to expect?
Well, I am going to read and review Mary’s book. I plan to have my review done by the end of this month or sooner. I am going to pick the book apart like I would any other piece of written content. Concept/theme, structure, and clarity. I’m curious about Mary’s angle and how the book’s subject matter will be plotted out. I am also eager to go over her references and sources.
Trying to balance out life, staying-at-home, and how much time I spend on social media. Being home all the time has its side effects. My beer gut is growing. I have unlimited access to the news and social media if left unchecked. And without a routine, I will surely spiral into chaos. But I’ve stuck to my routine and continue to read and write all the time.
I allow myself about one to two hours a day of ingesting news. I read The New York Times and The Salt Lake Tribune. Tapering down on social media has also helped bring my stress levels down.
How long is this going to last?
We’re heading into the FIFTH MONTH of COVID-19. In the U.S. there is still chaos, misinformation, and poor leadership. But I have hope, and with the Black Lives Matter movement still going strong, my fingers are crossed that this year’s election is not a repeat of 2016.
Peaceful Protests Escalated by Cottonwood Heights PD
In Salt Lake City, local news continues to smear peaceful protesters, casting them as rioters causing trouble. This weekend a peaceful protest in Cottonwood Heights was escalated when police showed up outnumbering protesters. They herded protesters, had their cars towed, and then assaulted and pepper-sprayed them. I watched so many live videos on Instagram from protesters that showed the police attacking and brutalizing them. Horrible.
It’s like the police just don’t get it. Their actions are why peaceful protesters are on the streets. The Salt Lake Tribune published an article that, in my opinion, aimed to cheer for the Cottonwood Heights Police Department while smearing the peaceful protesters. Yesterday there was another protestwhere Trump and Blue Lives Matter supporters showed up but more concerning is that Utah Citizens’ Alarm group was there and armed with guns, a “deterrent to violence,” said Casey Roberston, founder of the group in the Salt Lake Tribune’s article.
The Utah Citizens’ Alarm showing up with guns is not to deter violence. It’s to intimidate protesters, visually threatening them by carrying guns, implying that they will shoot them if protesters become “violent”. Of course, the police do nothing about this group, and I’ve read articles that many in this group know the police. They are working in tandem with them. The group says on their Facebook page that they support peaceful protests. There is something unsettling about the way they talk about themselves and their mission.
Black Lives Matter Utah works in cooperation with CAG, The Coalition for Police Reform, The United Front Civil Rights Organization, Brown Berets, Cop Watch Salt Lake City, SURJ, United Front White Allies, Utah Against Police Brutality, and many other activist groups. We encourage you to join every group and support them all. We are in no competition with any other group. All active civil rights groups which fight against oppression should be supported.
This group is what you make of it. If you have an idea then suggest it and run with it. Lead. Do not be afraid to lead and to help the movement.
385-743-0298
They provide a phone number and a list of other organizations they work with.
This is their about page. To me it is concerning. Look at the parts I’ve bolded. It’s like they’re spinning that they support peaceful protests, solidarity, but the wording is vague and general. I don’t trust this group and it concerns me that this group has 18.3k members. If they have nothing to hide and they are working with law enforcement why is the group set to PRIVATE?
About This Group
MISSION STATEMENT
Utah Citizens’ Alarm works to maintain peace in the state of Utah by educating its communities in areas of preparedness and self-defense; fostering unity between citizens of all backgrounds and races as a show of solidarity in times of disaster and civil unrest; and building strong relationships with law enforcement through cooperative community efforts.
VISION STATEMENT
Utah Citizens’ Alarm creates an environment of safety, preparedness, and peace in communities and neighborhoods across our state through strong, organized citizen alliances.
OUR START
In June of 2020, concerned Utah citizen Casey Robertson made a life-changing decision to invite friends to take a stand against violence that had been accompanying protests over issues of racial inequality and police brutality. The result of his simple call to action on social media was a flood of local patriots ready and willing to join and support his cause of supporting peaceful protest while denouncing and deterring violence. The group grew quickly – by the thousands in a matter of days – and immediately became known as Utah Citizens’ Alarm.
It was Casey’s love for his country and his home town that prompted him to stand against violence after a Provo protest turned ugly, ending in the shooting of a driver trying to make his way through the crowd blocking an intersection. Now, along with inviting Utah residents to stand against violence at protests, Casey also aims to help people form alliances in their own small communities that will create neighborhoods that are safe, protected, and prepared for all situations.
So Casey is helping small communities set up alliances, groups, of armed citizens to defend themselves? To protect peaceful protesters? To protect their neighborhoods from “violence”?
There is a difference between peaceful protesters gathering and ARMED CIVILIANS showing up to protests to “deter violence”.
I will be looking for more information about this group to prove my point wrong that Utah Citizens’ Alarm is not just a gun-toting group that shows up to intimidate protesters.
How obvious does it have to be? Do people not see what is happening here?
For months now, this specific group of protesters gathered every Sunday and danced in the streets. Dancing in the street is punishable by being pepper-sprayed, beaten, and threatened with felony charges?
I’m deeply disappointed in Utah. The response here to the protests is unacceptable and continues to sour. Watching Live Videos from KSL news on Facebook covering the protests is difficult; people comment that unemployed kids have nothing better to do than protest for criminals.
I see more and more “Trump 2020!” and “BlueLivesMatter” on Facebook and other social media platforms. Disgusting. I have been coming across comments that say the Black Lives Matter movement has been hijacked, used as an excuse to protest just about anything. Amazing, the ignorance is incredible.
How do these people supporting cops, not see the injustice, the brutality? Even when it happens right in front of them when police assault peaceful protesters? Is it possible that many of the same people that cheer “Trump 2020!” are also the ones spouting “Blue Lives Matter”? Hmmm.
I could go on and on but I’m going to wrap up my little opinion-rant.
