Although I’m well into the fourth rough draft at this point, I can’t help but feel that there are a lot of parts that I’m missing in my novel. I’m trying to piece together what parts those could be, there are holes here and there when I replay the story in my head, not necessarily explanations or details but parts of the story that I’ve somehow overlooked and forgotten, parts that directly contribute to the story as a whole. I think it’s because of this that I’ve been finding myself haunted by my characters.
I’ll be out running errands, or at work, and suddenly I’ll start to hear parts of their conversations (my characters) running through my head. I’ll see the setting, the house, the open field and memories of their past all important. I’ll see something, or hear someone say something in my everyday life, and it will all come flooding back to me, the story, the characters, moments that I haven’t seen before, or new ones I haven’t seen yet.
This may all just sound like ramblings but I’m sure that some writer’s out there know what I’m talking about, when the characters, the story just suddenly doesn’t seem to be your story, it comes alive and starts to do what it wants, unapologetically. Then it’s more of your duty to document, write, what that story is or it just starts to nag at you.
The parts that I’ve missed they’re now surfacing into my everyday life like this, just out of the blue coming up and telling me this or that. The trick is that this story isn’t necessarily taking place in the present and the past is hard to interpret. All I am doing is trying to make sense of these little slices that are revealing themselves to me now. They must be important to the story in a broader sense, so I keep inserting these random scenes or dialogues here and there in my fourth rough draft.
I thought a couple months ago that all the progress I had been making since last fall with this novel signified that it was somehow closer to a complete manuscript, or at least cohesive whole but now I’m beginning to question that feeling. There appears to be more that my novel has to say than what I originally thought.
And the feeling that I’m being haunted by my characters, that somewhere they’re always chatting away to each other is becoming more and more apparent. Knowing that this is how so and so would talk, how she would respond, the sound of her laugh and eerie look of their eyes as they tell the truth, it’s all there. But really, it is too much sometimes. I know I’m filling in missing parts here and there, but a lot of it is unnecessary excess.
So that’s where I’m at, piecing together and filtering through the excess parts that have been coming to me in the last few weeks.
Besides baking and working on my music, I’ve been reading On Writing Horror,
A handbook put together by The Horror Writers Association. I’m about half-way through and it’s a fascinating read, filled with interviews, essays, talks, and pointers. My main goal is to write something equally disturbing and unforgettable, something that readers will never forget, that will resurface in their minds for the rest of their lives. But sadly I’ve been told multiple times that my writing isn’t really terrifying when reading but just has scary elements. Doesn’t really make sense but I know that it means my writing is not achieving my overall goal.
What I’ve been listening to,
What I’ve been watching,
A Discovery of Witches I finished the first season in two days, it’s an interesting concept but feels a little jam-packed and overwhelming sometimes. I am now starting to read the first book, to take a look at Deborah Harkness‘ writing style and approach. I’m not really sure if I like this series or not.
Well, that’s all, thanks for reading up on my long update! Again to all my followers and regular readers, I appreciate you, all the time and attention you’ve given to my words, Thank you.
-Alina