I Love Living in San Francisco: A Writer’s Reflection

The last two months have been wild. I have been caught up in moving to San Francisco and exploring the city. Going from a slightly greener and very dry Salt Lake City to humid city life by the sea has been an enormous change. But I love every minute of it.

Living in the city has its pros and cons. I love the convenience of being downtown; we’re close to everything important. It’s easy to run errands, pick up groceries, find new shops, and take in amazing views of the city at every step. A con: it’s necessary to watch where you step and keep an eye out in some neighborhoods, but this comes with living in every big city.

A short walk, and I can see the Transamerica Pyramid and the Bay Bridge. I can wander north into Chinatown and then even further to Fisherman’s Wharf. The gradual visible changes between neighborhoods create a beautiful blend of living that melds together. The neighborhood’s various styles and layouts differ so drastically; it’s like walking through different cities sometimes. But I find it comforting and refreshing; there’s more life here, more choices, more.

(Transamerica Pyramid photo by Alina Happy Hansen 2021)

Walking downtown among the skyscrapers, I’ve managed to get lost a couple of times. It’s easy to get caught up in the beautiful architecture, the modern mixed in among the old Victorians. The sheer height of these buildings and the contrast in designs among them are captivating.

(the Bay Bridge photo by Alina Happy Hansen 2021)

I love how dense the city is, with almost more than 4x the population as SLC jammed into approximately 49 square miles, every inch of space is utilized. Instead of being spread out for miles like SLC, it’s meticulously stacked and organized to fit as many people in as possible. I love hearing so many different languages being spoken when I walk around. I love being a part of this multi-cultural microcosm. It’s like living in a kaleidoscope, mesmerizing and beautiful at the same time.

(Coit Tower and the Bay Bridge photo by Alina Happy Hansen 2021)

I’m still settling in, getting familiar with the city’s layout, and trying to memorize the patterns. I’ve managed to compile a list of places I already go regularly and an even more extensive list of places I want to visit.

While I’m exploring and learning about life in SF, I’ve been getting back into my daily writing routine (writing 2k words a day), writing poems here and there, and of course, I’ll be pulling out my novel that I’ve been working on for years now. I have a few ideas for a handful of short stories I’m still contemplating about, but I can feel I’m about to go into an extensive streak of writing in every spare moment I have.


The Pandemic & More

While I’ve been going through this enormous change, it’s been a balancing act between staying positive and aware of the Delta Variant. I feel safer living in SF compared to SLC, the response here to COVID-19 and now Delta is proactive. They take it seriously here.

I wear a mask when I go out because I don’t want to get sick. Even though I’m fully vaccinated and if I get COVID-19, there is a better chance that my symptoms will be less severe and an even lower chance I’d have to go to the hospital; I’m not interested in taking the risk.

The long-term effects of COVID on people’s health are concerning, and the risk of spreading COVID to an unvaccinated person who has a higher chance of dying is reason enough to keep my distance.

I appreciate that SF has reinstated a mask mandate that applies to everyone regardless of their vaccination status. I’m just waiting to see what happens in the fall. With the number of cases in the U.S. rising already and children getting COVID, I feel like there is a good chance of soft closures in some cities.

In no way do I feel like things are “back to normal” I am getting the impression it could be another year of uncertainty, deaths, and a consistent rate of cases until the U.S. and daily life starts to resemble pre-COVID times.

Besides the Pandemic, I’ve been keeping an eye on politics, the insane weather resulting from global warming, and the details coming out about the January 6th Insurrection. There is so much going on, the world has been shaken up, and I don’t think things will settle down any time soon.

But I’ll take my slice of success and paradise living in SF with my boyfriend; I’ll take this welcomed change and keep going. I’m not going to blindly pretend things are “back to normal” or will go back to the way it was. That’s just not the case. It’s the time to plan for the future, stay aware, be active, and stay safe.


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“Too Much and Never Enough” and Peaceful Protests in SLC

DISCLAIMER: This is an Opinion piece.

Yesterday, I finally decided that I was going to read Mary L. Trump’s book Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man. For the last month, I had been reading numerous articles anticipating the release of Mary’s book. Curious about what she had to say, I finally bought the kindle version yesterday. Of course, I’m not surprised that Trump tried to stop her from publishing this book in the final countdown before the election.

What to expect? 

Well, I am going to read and review Mary’s book. I plan to have my review done by the end of this month or sooner. I am going to pick the book apart like I would any other piece of written content. Concept/theme, structure, and clarity. I’m curious about Mary’s angle and how the book’s subject matter will be plotted out. I am also eager to go over her references and sources.

54114950. sy475
photo credit: goodreads.com

What else have I been up to?

Trying to balance out life, staying-at-home, and how much time I spend on social media. Being home all the time has its side effects.
My beer gut is growing. I have unlimited access to the news and social media if left unchecked. And without a routine, I will surely spiral into chaos. But I’ve stuck to my routine and continue to read and write all the time.

I allow myself about one to two hours a day of ingesting news. I read The New York Times and The Salt Lake Tribune. Tapering down on social media has also helped bring my stress levels down.

How long is this going to last?

We’re heading into the FIFTH MONTH of COVID-19. In the U.S. there is still chaos, misinformation, and poor leadership. But I have hope, and with the Black Lives Matter movement still going strong, my fingers are crossed that this year’s election is not a repeat of 2016.

Peaceful Protests Escalated by Cottonwood Heights PD

In Salt Lake City, local news continues to smear peaceful protesters, casting them as rioters causing trouble. This weekend a peaceful protest in Cottonwood Heights was escalated when police showed up outnumbering protesters. They herded protesters, had their cars towed, and then assaulted and pepper-sprayed them. I watched so many live videos on Instagram from protesters that showed the police attacking and brutalizing them. Horrible. 

It’s like the police just don’t get it. Their actions are why peaceful protesters are on the streets. The Salt Lake Tribune published an article that, in my opinion, aimed to cheer for the Cottonwood Heights Police Department while smearing the peaceful protesters. Yesterday there was another protest where Trump and Blue Lives Matter supporters showed up but more concerning is that Utah Citizens’ Alarm group was there and armed with guns, a “deterrent to violence,” said Casey Roberston, founder of the group in the Salt Lake Tribune’s article.

The Utah Citizens’ Alarm showing up with guns is not to deter violence. It’s to intimidate protesters, visually threatening them by carrying guns, implying that they will shoot them if protesters become “violent”. Of course, the police do nothing about this group, and I’ve read articles that many in this group know the police. They are working in tandem with them. The group says on their Facebook page that they support peaceful protests. There is something unsettling about the way they talk about themselves and their mission.

Want to see something interesting? Check out Black Lives Matter Utah Chapter on Facebook, the profile is PUBLIC and there are about 4.4k members.

Black Lives Matter Utah works in cooperation with CAG, The Coalition for Police Reform, The United Front Civil Rights Organization, Brown Berets, Cop Watch Salt Lake City, SURJ, United Front White Allies, Utah Against Police Brutality, and many other activist groups. We encourage you to join every group and support them all. We are in no competition with any other group. All active civil rights groups which fight against oppression should be supported.
This group is what you make of it. If you have an idea then suggest it and run with it. Lead. Do not be afraid to lead and to help the movement.
385-743-0298
 
They provide a phone number and a list of other organizations they work with.
 

Check out Utah Citizen’s Alarm Facebook Group page, there are 18.3k members and their profile is set to private? Why private? 

This is their about page. To me it is concerning. Look at the parts I’ve bolded. It’s like they’re spinning that they support peaceful protests, solidarity, but the wording is vague and general. I don’t trust this group and it concerns me that this group has 18.3k members. If they have nothing to hide and they are working with law enforcement why is the group set to PRIVATE?

About This Group

MISSION STATEMENT
Utah Citizens’ Alarm works to maintain peace in the state of Utah by educating its communities in areas of preparedness and self-defense; fostering unity between citizens of all backgrounds and races as a show of solidarity in times of disaster and civil unrest; and building strong relationships with law enforcement through cooperative community efforts.
 
VISION STATEMENT
Utah Citizens’ Alarm creates an environment of safety, preparedness, and peace in communities and neighborhoods across our state through strong, organized citizen alliances.
 
OUR START
In June of 2020, concerned Utah citizen Casey Robertson made a life-changing decision to invite friends to take a stand against violence that had been accompanying protests over issues of racial inequality and police brutality. The result of his simple call to action on social media was a flood of local patriots ready and willing to join and support his cause of supporting peaceful protest while denouncing and deterring violence. The group grew quickly – by the thousands in a matter of days – and immediately became known as Utah Citizens’ Alarm.
It was Casey’s love for his country and his home town that prompted him to stand against violence after a Provo protest turned ugly, ending in the shooting of a driver trying to make his way through the crowd blocking an intersection. Now, along with inviting Utah residents to stand against violence at protests, Casey also aims to help people form alliances in their own small communities that will create neighborhoods that are safe, protected, and prepared for all situations. 
 
 
So Casey is helping small communities set up alliances, groups, of armed citizens to defend themselves? To protect peaceful protesters? To protect their neighborhoods from “violence”?
 
There is a difference between peaceful protesters gathering and ARMED CIVILIANS showing up to protests to “deter violence”.
 
I will be looking for more information about this group to prove my point wrong that Utah Citizens’ Alarm is not just a gun-toting group that shows up to intimidate protesters.
 

Here’s a Instagram post from the Cottonwood Heights Police Department

CHPD insta post

How obvious does it have to be? Do people not see what is happening here?

For months now, this specific group of protesters gathered every Sunday and danced in the streets. Dancing in the street is punishable by being pepper-sprayed, beaten, and threatened with felony charges?

I’m deeply disappointed in Utah. The response here to the protests is unacceptable and continues to sour. Watching Live Videos from KSL news on Facebook covering the protests is difficult; people comment that unemployed kids have nothing better to do than protest for criminals.

I see more and more “Trump 2020!” and “BlueLivesMatter” on Facebook and other social media platforms. Disgusting. I have been coming across comments that say the Black Lives Matter movement has been hijacked, used as an excuse to protest just about anything. Amazing, the ignorance is incredible.

How can Trump supporters blindly follow him when he tweets, floating the idea, about delaying the election this year? A blatant authoritarian idea. Or how about when he deploys feds to intimidate protesters? What about not taking COVID seriously until it’s too late and over 150,000 people have died in the U.S.?

How do these people supporting cops, not see the injustice, the brutality? Even when it happens right in front of them when police assault peaceful protesters? Is it possible that many of the same people that cheer “Trump 2020!” are also the ones spouting “Blue Lives Matter”? Hmmm.

I could go on and on but I’m going to wrap up my little opinion-rant.

Resources and Donations

Support Protests Brutalized by Utah Cops

Know Your Rights – Protesters’ Rights

 

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Life During COVID-19 (3/28/2020): Personal Update, Rant and Unemployment

It snowed yesterday and today. It’s chilly but not too horrible and all I’ve really needed is a thick sweater to stay warm in our drafty apartment (it’s not that bad).

A RANT: LEAVING US TO DIE

So, the Stimulus Package passed, awesome. But I’m still not expecting anything, or any help financially from the government right away. They already nickel and dimed the country, the people who need the money the most right now, a one-time payment of $1,200 is nothing when looking at the average cost of living, especially for families making less than $30,000/year AND the minimum wage ($7.25/hour).

What it really feels like is a slap in the face. Not only did I lose my job because of the spread of COVID-19 but I’ve lost my health insurance. I keep thinking about the people with families that lost their health insurance, the older employees that couldn’t retire, everyone living paycheck to paycheck, some of which already didn’t have benefits. But those that had benefits through their employers that lost them when they lost their jobs, those that are in the age range with a higher chance of becoming terminally ill or worse dying from COVID-19, I don’t know what they’re going to do. I feel like for many of us, we’re being left to die, if we don’t lose our lives or people we care about we are going to lose everything else with the risk of eviction, collections, bankruptcy, and homelessness.

But I’m trying to stay positive, focused, and busy despite everything’s that’s going, despite the warning signs I have been seeing for the past two weeks that it’s not going to get better any time soon.

it’s not the same [poem #590]

DAILY HABITS

Writing, reading, but mainly searching for online jobs and applying to a minimum of one or two a day. And it’s hard. I’ve been applying regularly like this every single day since March 16th. I have to keep trying.

UNEMPLOYMENT

I have not been given a definitive date as to when I can expect my first unemployment check. And tomorrow I have to refile for the week. I’ve heard from friends, co-workers, and others who have had to use unemployment that their first check didn’t arrive until three or four weeks after the first time they filed.

3.3 Million File for Unemployment

And the monthly unemployment benefits that I was estimated to receive will barely be over $600/month. That doesn’t even cover my share of rent or utilities. I’m hope I’m just looking at it wrong, I hope it really will be more now that the Stimulus Bill passed. But I am still not expecting any help from the Government or the President since they’ve proven through their corporate bailouts who it is they really care about.

World Enters [poem #448]

ART

On a lighter note, I did this a couple days ago.

Photo of a pen and pencil drawing of a woman and a skull framed with highlighted pink blobs by Alina Happy Hansen.
“quarantined” Original Art Work March 26, 2020 by Alina Happy Hansen
Phone screenshot of an Instagram post of a black-and-white photo of a woman .

I used a reference photo I found on Instagram and then made it my own. I should’ve used watercolors or something brighter to color it (just used colored pencils and a highlighter). But I still like it.

MUSIC

Nine Inch Nails released their albums GHOSTS V-VI for FREE! I downloaded them and they are amazing. Totally gives the my life right now an official soundtrack. Love it!

Thank you for reading and being a part of my life during this strange time. Stay well and stay safe out there!


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Life During COVID-19 (3/25/2020): Establishing A Routine

Life During COVID-19 (5/13/2020): Freelancing, Patreon and New Toys

Podcast Sesh #2 (6/18/2020): Writing, Freelancing and Coping with the George Floyd Protests

Personal Response: Surviving 2017 in the Trump Era

Back in November, I made a brief announcement post that I was planning on writing my personal response to ‘Surviving 2017 in the Trump Era’ and the reoccurring theory that college students are being brainwashed into becoming liberals. This is exactly that.

NOTE: This is my own reflection. I am not assuming a voice for all those opposed to Trump. Anyone has the right to disagree or agree with what I am saying but do realize this is my own personal response. I am not looking for battles or arguments. I think it is beneficial for people to reflect on an entire year like this one, in one form or another to help them gain insight into themselves and the changing world around them. 


 

The results of the election last year were devastating. Not only had Trump won but suddenly the surreal feeling of living in a twilight zone-like reality began. Watching Trump’s inaugural speech on January 20th on TV, the strange and gloomy streets as he paraded in Washington D.C. Suddenly, it felt like something had dramatically changed. I couldn’t exactly put my finger on it but now I think I’ve realized what it was that I felt. This was the beginning of a new time, a new block of time that would have to be sectioned off, highlighted, and analytically picked apart day by day in the future. It has been termed an Era: The Era of Trump. I think this term is correct because now it is apparent 2017 is the start of another chapter in U.S. history.

The Women’s March, protests, petitions, and rumors of impeachment have all added to the growing feeling of tension and unrest in the U.S. Two sides were emerging; in support of POTUS and vehemently against. This divide has become stronger and more resolute as news coverage, tweets, and speeches which all contribute to the obvious reality that the POTUS may be extremely irrational and dangerous. There is little room to breathe when his ego is threatened when his words are analyzed and questioned when his behavior is criticized as being inappropriate and extremely insensitive. But the division between pro and anti-Trump supporters is creating unsafe spaces full of animosity and possibly dangerous eruptions.

After the first month, sleepless and admittedly paranoid, it felt like everything suddenly went into full gear. Every week on the news, every day, Trump words and actions have become a horrifying reality show in that his actions have actual repercussions throughout the U.S. and the World. I have come to terms with the fact that now I have to spend the next three years watching this man puff up and prance his way through international relations. That his arrogance now puts Americans at risk and that his agenda, selective and suspicious, is equally threatening to minorities in America. It has become more and more apparent that Trump’s ideologies may be reflecting in his actions as POTUS.But it hasn’t only been Trump’s behavior that has made the first year of this Era disturbing and shocking but its been his reactions to the horrible and tragic events throughout the year including protests, shootings, and hurricane devastation.

Charlottesville was a turning point. The protest turned violent and deadly, the POTUS fumbled and went back and forth on his own response to the events. The ‘Unite the Right’ rally featured white supremacists, who try to camouflage their hate and identity with terms such as ‘white nationalist’, protesting the removal of a Robert E. Lee statue. Counter protestors were present and violence quickly ensued. Finally, counter-protestor Heather D. Heyer was killed when a white nationalist plowed his car into the crowd.

Trump’s response was inappropriate and strange. I think his words will be highlighted and remembered forever as he said there was blame “…on many sides.” This did not make sense, it still doesn’t. Suddenly people who do not believe in hate, racism, and bigotry were equated with white supremacists? Both parties were somehow guilty? This is when I think America finally began to understand where the POTUS stood in terms of hate, racism, and bigotry if they hadn’t already clued in with his behavior before the presidency. It was so apparent when his quick on the draw tweets and responses were delayed…possibly for once a response was being thought over by Trump himself before coming out of his mouth.

Personally, I was not surprised by Trump’s response but I was devastated by the violence and death. I have been conducting research since then on white supremacist groups. My findings are horrifying and I am now more aware than ever that America may have to again fight against racism (a never-ending fight) on a publically large-scale level similar to that of the civil rights movements of the 1960’s. (Oftentimes I found that white supremacist groups say they are not racists but just have certain beliefs regarding who should be a recognized citizen, including who should have rights, which for them means only specific people of white European-descent. Their definition of what an ‘American’ is, rests solely on their beliefs of race) Not only have I realized this but as a college student, I have been approached by multiple people who tell me I am being brainwashed to become a liberal.

After some research on this theory, I learned that the infamous Ben Shapiro has written a book on this ‘brainwashed liberal’ concept among many other self-proclaimed conservatives. Ben Shapiro actually came to my University this year and gave a talk, it was highly protested and at the same time, his supporters (fellow students) were large in numbers which is unsettling and disturbing. I recognize now that since this event my campus has felt completely different. I have also noticed how Salt Lake City’s local news appears to have their own biases about events such as this. This is not new and it has become harder and harder to find a reasonably unbiased news source that will tell the truth and report what happened without taking their own spin on stuff. This little theory (liberals are brainwashed) is not new but has been present for a very long time. But this is the first year ever, in the six years I have been a college student that anyone has told me this. Now I am left feeling confused and offended. I have worked my ass off to graduate next spring. I have had to save my own money, pay my own tuition, and just this year take out two small loans so I can graduate. To be told that somehow my education is brainwashing me is humorous and ridiculous.

If being taught that diversity and unity among all peoples regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, and religion (to name a few) is wrong, this belief only tells me that people opposed to a higher education don’t believe that our society can function if it is diverse. I am assuming here that being deemed a ‘brainwashed liberal’ means that I am being brainwashed to believe in equality and rights for everyone; brainwashed to believe it is possible that one day people will be judged on the quality of their character not the color of their skin, sexual orientation, gender, or religious or cultural background.

Higher education isn’t available to everyone and is treated as more of a commodity than anything else and I can understand how this commodity can be manipulated to indoctrinate young adults into particular beliefs and ideologies both pro-diversity and against. But it does not makes sense to me that a higher education means I am being brainwashed. If anything I have been taught to read carefully, analyze, extrapolate, and critique everything that is available to me. After all of this, I am encouraged to give my own response, pull from own experience and education, and ultimately think. It should be noted that at my own university there are Ben Shapiro and Trump supporters and possibly even white nationalists. I am never forced to believe anything, I am given the opportunity to choose, as I think most people do. I am taught to think critically. I am also continuously taught to question my own education, including my university. If being brainwashed means to question everything, think critically, and believe in possibility then fine. I would rather be deemed a brainwashed liberal just because I have a higher education than believe everything on the news, believe the words of our POTUS, believe conspiracy theories in circulation and believe in the fear of change. I never proclaimed myself a liberal but have been labeled one from the very beginning. If this is what I am recognized as by those labeling me then so be it.

Also, If having Trump as POTUS is what it takes for the U.S. to wake up and realize we need to address specific issues that have continued to be swept under the rug or falsely believed to be ‘solved’ then so be it. This is the time for change to happen. This is not a time to be silent and pretend that something isn’t already happening in our country. The political turmoil, the continual protests on “both sides”, the issue of sexual harassment, these events are crucial in understanding that right now is not the time to stick our heads in the sand. We must be vocal and supportive and uphold the rights that we have worked so long and so hard to gain as Americans. If a diverse society cannot be, or cannot function, if a belief in rights and equality for all people in this country is not possible then our country would be exactly the same as it was in previous centuries. If it is not possible then why did change happen in the past?

Ultimately with everything that has happened this year and my own personal experiences, I have come to the conclusion that it is not about survival but endurance.

This is already a long post, and if you’ve read this far I want to thank you for your time. It has been difficult trying to put my thoughts into words and try to come to some kind of conclusion. If I do not stop now I could go on for pages about these two topics forever. How I feel now versus at the beginning of the year has changed that’s true but I find myself instilled with even more passion than before. I have more courage now to write.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read my writing. I hope you will return in the future.

To my regular readers and loyal followers Thank you so much for your support.

-Alina