Notebook Excerpts #4 (May/June)

Here are some excerpts from my May and June Notebooks. I use regular composition notebooks to write in, take notes, and attempt poetry and fiction. I have filled one entire Notebook every month for the last few years. I find it to be a good habit that keeps my writing and my mind fresh.


+ signifies breaks in sections of writing/poems

 

(MAY 2017)

How I bleed.

Let it fall down, marble, the cold sky. And the clouds are fat in the neat of the sky.

What are the words that break each other?

Up and out, down and inside it all.

How death becomes reality eventually for all of us.

+

How glass sounds, smashing glass,

smashing it all. The sting in the eardrums.

The sting of pain that bellows and coldly crumbles.

+

and situated coldly across the old sky wandering

her eyes reflected a pain that was not found.

In it all, was not found among the wreckage of her personality.

+

Why do we care about the theory of a god? the existence of one, at all?

What does that mean? All the power that corrupts the hearts of man.

+

Writing between us. Writing it all, climb into nowhere and pulverize, pulverize the summer sun. My heart beats, beats clean, crisp and cold all my eyes return into the holy error of death. Calm and sweet my body blossoms into nothing. I am nothing.

 

(JUNE 2017)

My mind  burns, could you find me, any colder? The eyes of my heart return to a death that I can no longer find. Why my body bends and breaks, closes completely.

+

Words written on these pages-what does everyone know? My blood burns like no one else, my mind poisonous to everyone. Burning them into a burning light but I am so cold.

+

My skin turns blue until there is nothing left of me until there is…nothing.

+

Sweet flowers that destroy you, into the forgotten night. My eyes drift silently into nothing.

+

What do the words mean? Do they mean anything? I’m not quite sure anymore.


 

If you are reading this Thank You for taking time out of your day to read my writing!

I hope you will return in the future!

-Alina

Notebook Excerpts #3 (April 2017)

Here are some excerpts from my April 2017 notebook!

key: pieces are separated by a ‘+’


 

How I bled.

Let it fall down, marble the cold sky. And the clouds are fat. FAT. in the meat of the sky. What are the words that break each other up and out, down and inside it all? How death becomes a reality eventually, for all of us.

+

Your sky buries itself down into the hell of my sky.

+

and the words open themselves, combine and dive into the hell of the mind. How I drew up and deconstructed the poison of my hell.

Hell, or purgatory.

and there is no quiet heart destroyed by the endlessness. No quiet heart explodes and climbs up up up…

+

All that I know buried against the sun. My blood returns cold and

crisp against the bitterness of one heart. Heart. Into another. What now? How does it relate to the cold? personage of a destroyed world. All my eyes bleed. Across my mouth the night climbs and buries itself. cold. cold against the sun.

+

Sickness in my gut

light shine too bright,

poetry

writing about poetry

it all blossoms with death.

Death.

+

Destruction is the key to the endless heart of it all. And I fade quietly into nothing cold and calm.

+

All over the world, the bits and pieces destroy each other.

+

The edge of my mind held me close to the edge of the night. All I do is dive into nothing the world follows me into nothing. All I seek, is doom in fire. Let go and crumble into the sky the edge is here and let go you never destroyed the edge of the night but embraced it.

+

Guitar, guitar

carpet/floor

heater, book case, bookcase,

bookcases. laptop

just kidding.

window window

lamp.

prison, prison,

prison.


 

If you are reading this, Thank You for taking time out of your day to read my writing! I hope you return in the future!

-Alina