Life during COVID-19 (4/13/20): Poetry for $ and more poems

It’s almost been a month since the last day I worked (March 17th). It’s bizarre to think that time has passed so quickly and somehow so slowly at the same time. I feel like I’m utilizing my time well but I’m so frustrated I haven’t landed a job yet.

UNEMPLOYED AND JOB SEARCHING

I’ve done interviews and skills tests, I’ve written cover letter after cover letter and still nothing. Right after graduation I spent six months applying to jobs requiring a BA, specifically in English or related fields, nothing. I gave up. I needed a break, now I’m doing the same thing again. What does it mean to keep pushing, keep trying for a job that requires a BA? I don’t know. I hope it’s worth it. I don’t want to cave in and get a Customer Service Rep job for a call center. I don’t want to get another job that is the complete opposite of what I want to do with my life, my career, my writing. But it is so hard.

I am grateful for my unemployment checks. They are small but something and I’m hoping the extra $600/week from the Cares Act Stimulus bill that was passed last month kicks in soon.

RECEIVING $500 FROM THE TIP YOUR SERVER DONATION

By some weird stroke of luck, I ended up winning the lotto for the $500 from the Downtown Alliance’s Tip Your Server donation. I’ve decided I want to help my co-workers so I am building a list of all my friends that need the money right now that are unemployed and looking for jobs and really strapped for cash. I hope to shell out at least $100 each and spread the money out. Thanks to a $100 contribution from one of my friends, this will now be $600 that I can spread out among my friends.

MAKING $ FROM MY POETRY FOR $

I’ve also had quite a bit of luck with my POETRY for $, to date I’ve completed 14 poems for supporters. I accept any $ via Venmo then write a personalized handwritten poem with a little bit of my own stylized art. I send a digital copy (pdf) via email then the original through the mail.

I’ve done two poems barter/trade style. One poem I wrote for a friend who bought me Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar (including her collection of poems). And another friend I wrote a poem for is brewing me my very own small batch of beer (he brews beer for Wasatch Brew Pub in Salt Lake City, Utah) I am so stoked for this!

20200322_175024
Original poem I wrote/made for a $upporter

MAKING A ZINE

I also drafted up an outline of my upcoming digital zine in InDesign. It will have all the poetry I’ve written during the Pandemic/Stay at Home order. Pretty much since I was laid off. I am including copies of all the poems I’ve done for $upport as well as some art and photography. This is such a fun project and it will be free to the public when it is finished.

I feel so fortunate to have such caring friends and because of their generosity right now I’ve been able to pay a few bills and have extra money for groceries, saving anything extra for the future.

END OF NATASHA SAJE’S POETRY WORKSHOP

My Poetry Workshop at Westminster (online now) is coming to a close. There’s only a couple more assignments left and then it will be over. I am not looking forward to this since I’ve really enjoyed this workshop; reading other students poems, the poetry books, assigned reading, and pushing myself with the poetry assignments. I’m really going to miss it.

CANCELLING MY SUMMER CLASSES

I’m bummed out because this summer I was going to start pursuing an AAS in Music Recording Technology at Salt Lake Community College but since I was laid off, I can’t afford it so I had to drop the classes I already registered for. I just plan on taking free courses online, finding tutorial videos, and continue to make music and publish my songs on soundcloud.

OVERALL

It’s been a good experience thus far, I’ve kept to my daily routine, and I’ve made my daily quota for the number of jobs I apply to, and I write and read and write and read and write and read…

I just have to keep going.

TALK TO ME

How are you getting through the Pandemic? Have you been ordered to Stay at Home? How are you coping?

I would love to hear about your experiences during this time.

Please feel free to comment or message me.

Thank you for reading!

Stay safe and stay well out there!

-Alina
XOXO


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If you enjoyed this post, check out these:

Life During COVID-19 (4/21/2020): Poetry, Sylvia Plath and My Novel(Opens in a new browser tab)

Life During COVID-19 (5/13/2020): Freelancing, Patreon and New Toys(Opens in a new browser tab)

Life During COVID-19 (5/30/2020): Reflection on George Floyd, Protests Turned Riots and Growing Tensions in the U.S.(Opens in a new browser tab)

‘Poem to Read Aloud’ by Alina Happy Hansen (April 11th, 2020)

Decided to do something different, here is a video of me reading one of my poems, this one titled (for now) ‘Poem to Read Aloud’.

I wrote this poem as an assignment for the Poetry Workshop at Westminster that I’m in.

POEM TO READ ALOUD (working title)

I cut a glance

your direction, aflame you look back

linger. Craving gaze, a charmed doom for

me later. Flesh, veins,

flayed bones on bones desire, not now.

I smile, a fire.

Your glutted eyes hold me. Turn away, wait no

yes wait until

the sun goes down so the neighbors don’t see our shadows.


I hope you enjoy my poem! Any comments/feedback I would deeply appreciate.

Stay safe and stay well out there!

Alina


Become a Subscriber! Get notified when new posts are published plus once a week I will send content just for you: poem, personal update, reading list, writing tips and more!

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Want to become one of my Patrons? Go to my page here and join a tier. All patrons regardless of Tier have access to all of my patron-only content right now! Tiers start at $3/month!

If you enjoyed this post, check out these:

My Stories on Medium: Poetry, Writing and Freelancing(Opens in a new browser tab)

Podcast Sesh #2 June 18, 2020: Writing, Freelancing and Coping with the George Floyd Protests(Opens in a new browser tab)

Life During COVID-19 (5/5/2020): Tutoring, Freelancing on Fiverr and Job Searching(Opens in a new browser tab)

My First Novel: Moving, NaPoMo and Tidying-Up (4/18)

This month has been crazy. With all the moving and changes happening I’ve been trying to keep up and finally feel like I got a foothold. Now that I’m more settled in my new place and I have a little bit more time on my hands, I can get back to business.

Working on “Part Two” draft of my book is difficult, there are so many places where I want to cut out whole chapters or rework certain aspects of characters but I’m holding myself back from completely tearing apart what I have. I miss my characters, in a weird way, it’s like I haven’t hung out with them in a while. I also need to get a quick refresh and reread my manuscript.

The Ending. I scratched about three to four different endings of my book a couple months ago before I finished revising the first draft. Now I’m left with an extremely rough outline of the ending I’m thinking of, still, it doesn’t feel exactly right. It seems like the ending won’t really be “the ending”, there could be a sequel which is scary.

It’s Na(tional)Po(oetry)Mo(nth) and I almost forgot, I admit it. I have a couple poetry books that I am trying to finish right now and I’m planning on focusing on those until the end of the month as a sort of mini-celebration.

William Carlos Williams Selected Poetry

Poetry Magazines April 2019 Edition

What else I’ve been reading:

Joan Didion’s Slouching Towards Bethlehem

I need to read more Didion, or at least I’m in the mood to now. I feel like after my Jane Austen binge I want to get back to reading more modern works. And I am holding myself back from rereading some of my favorite Patti Smith books right now. I have read a couple other Didion books and I love her style and approach to content. This one is no different and presents a very specific slice of time that I’m able to tap into as a reader all because of Didion’s writing.

Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying-Up

Curious about this popular trend, I got on the bandwagon about a month ago when I knew I was going to move. I didn’t follow Kondo’s method to the T but I managed to get rid of over half of the things I owned (and didn’t need). After watching the Netflix series I am now almost done with her book. It is has a simple format and it’s an easy read. 

What I’m listening to:

Thanks for reading!

-Alina

 

INSTAGRAM

PATREON

Celebrating NaPoMo: A Fear of Poetry

 

Image result for pile of papers
Wikimedia Commons

 

This month is NaPoMo, an entire month of poetry! I have not been able to participate in the “poem a day” because of class, so I thought I would share my piece “A Fear of Poetry” which I wrote for a speech contest I recently participated in.


 

A Fear of Poetry

When I tell people “I’m a Poet,” the light kind of vanishes from their eyes.

If they don’t know anything about poetry or haven’t read a poem, instantly there is this wall that comes up between us.

They may get the impression I’m some kind of snob, who thinks that I’m smarter than them just because I am a Poet.

The obscurity surrounding poetry, half bard-magic and half highbrow literature, all contributes to this idea that poetry is somehow incomprehensible to the average person.

I understand this reaction because I had the same one seven years ago when I finally found myself learning about poetry.

I was in my first creative writing class my freshman year here at the U of U. We read Maggie Nelson’s “Bluets” which changed my life forever. We were encouraged to explore words and art and I found myself diving head first into poetry, scared and in love.

Although I was unsure and I felt that I was not smart enough to understand poetry I decided to pursue it.

Now, seven years later I’ve had a handful of poems published and I plan on self-publishing a small book of poems in the near future.

My message to the audience is that Poetry matters and it’s not as scary as you think.

Poetry is all around us and hides in plain sight.

Poetry is not a static form, it’s not just ballads and sonnets from hundreds of years ago. It’s alive and changing with us.

It’s the words that reverberate within our souls, the words, and phrases that make our hearts jump and dive. Words we remember for the rest of our lives.

So what do I suggest to those curious about poetry?

Become familiar with poetry.

Dip your toes, start with small with poems like William Carlos Williams “Red Wheelbarrow”.

Eventually, you may have to tread water, you may think you will drown but the surface is closer than you think.

And even if you do drown a little there is joy in drowning in poetry.

Poetry allows us to connect with ourselves and our community, it is a love for a lifetime and you don’t have to be a poet, a writer, or an English major to understand it.

All you have to do is read.


 

Thank you for reading my work! 

Alina 

Response: Phenomenology and the Body in Poetry

This is a response to tmbenjamin10 ‘s suggested topic from my post National Poetry Month , “…I’ve been recently wondering and reading around the subject of phenomenology and its effect on how we treat the body in poetry. Please feel free to take a stab at the subject…” .

This is a big subject and a lot to chew on so it’s taken me while to compose a response but I hope that my insight/reflection helps.


 

First, I want to break down the word ‘Phenomenology’, it is a long and complicated term that means simply ‘the study of phenomena’ which is often related to Philosophy (dictionary.com)

The Philosophical study of Phenomenology can be defined as, ‘…the study of structures of consciousness as experienced from the first-person point of view.’ (plato.stanford.edu)

I want to stick to these two definitions of Phenomenology as I apply the body in poetry to this term.

The body in poetry can sometimes be used to represent or express what is happening internally with the ‘subject’ of the poem. The body can also represent what is happening externally. It is the relationship of subject and representation in poetry that can be linked  to phenomena and the body.

 

For example,

 

                                               (The body has become a physical interpretation for the                                                       decay of the city)

“The body breaks    

away with

the rubble of

the city”

(my own words)

(Body is representing phenomena in the outside                                                                      environment regardless if the expression and event are                                                      linked by action or not)

 

Second Example,

 

“Thunder rumbled above me,                  ( Here the outside event -phenomena- is linked                                                                         to the body, expressed in a reaction that can be                                                                       deciphered as either emotional or physical)

my body static with electricity,

 

vibrates.”

(my own words)

 

Another example that came to my mind, when I read the words phenomenology, body and poetry in the same sentence, was the ancient belief that there were gods that could control natural forces (i.e. Greek and Roman Mythology) and that if you pissed off the gods they would kill you (often by natural forces; earthquakes, floods, storms). So if I were to apply the same principles to poetry and the body it would be something like this,

phenomena/natural forces+body/response (internal/external)= poetry

I can also switch around ‘body’ with ‘gods’ and ‘phenomena’ with                                               ’emotions/expression/poetry’.

Overall, it depends entirely on what you want to do with the ‘body’ in a poem and how you want the ‘body’ to relate (either internally or externally) to the outside world (phenomena/natural forces) in this way the body has the ability of being both God and Human, either expressing how the God can manipulate the environment or vice versa.

 

Here’s another example that crossed my mind after thinking about Gods. The movie Carrie (1976) Directed by Brian De Palma, is about a teenage girl with psychic powers (imdb.com). Carrie as a body in a poem can directly influence her environment through phenomena and in another way the supernatural events that happen around Carrie can be related to phenomena affecting the body (the emotions of these events would be Poetry).

I am not sure if this last example really helps. In my mind I think of Gods and Poltergeists when I read about the study of Phenomenology. I think that a good literary example of how there is a close connection between poetry, body and phenomena would be ‘A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man‘ by James Joyce. Although it is often thought of as a difficult and dense text, it can be related to these subjects easily through an analysis of the technique and style that Joyce uses to tell the story of young Stephen Dedalus.

Well, tmbenjamin10 please let me know what you think of my response (if you get a chance to read this). I really appreciate your suggestion and Thank You for helping me contribute to NaPoMo!!!

 

sources: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/phenomena

https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/phenomenology/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074285/      (‘Carrie’ original story by Stephen King)


 

If you are reading this THANK YOU for taking time out of your day to read my writing! I hope you return in the future!

-Alina