It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. To be honest, it’s because I am swamped with freelance and internship work. And I’m having a hard time processing the unrest and events that are happening in the U.S. right now on top of COVID-19.
Besides my freelancing, internship, and revising my novel, I am struggling to have hope for the future. Last night I read about Robert Fuller and the three other Black Americans that were found murdered, hanging from trees.
Read more about the hangings here.
THIS is happening in 2020. What year are we living in? Horrifying. Devastating. I was trying my best not to cry last night, and I need to stop checking the news before I go to bed but, I’m glad I found out. It is heart-breaking.
These murders are the same as lynchings; this vile inhuman act represents the worst of humanity. I am in shock and I am afraid. Black lives matter and my deepest sympathies go out to the family and friends of the murdered, the dead.
I struggle to keep hope that things can change. That there is some light at the end of it all, at the end of this year, but this is too much. I think I may be hitting a breaking point. I feel useless, helpless, unable to do anything. How can I? I am just one white woman, one privileged white woman.
But I have to keep doing something. I’ve been signing petitions and donating. I’ve donated almost $100 to various Black Lives Matter organizations and George Floyd’s family. I’m signing and sharing petitions every single day. I just know I can do more.
On top of it all, Trump’s blatant acts, his rally, the timing, and the place, disgusting. Racist, cheat, lying, crook. This is not a leader for our country; this is a tyrant who wants to be a dictator.
Fuck Trump.
Does it help that he moved the date of his rally from Juneteenth? Too little, too late, America received your message Trump. You are racist and continue to display leadership to your white supremacist supporters.
I have the deepest hatred for Trump. He continues to use rhetoric that actively aims to obliterate the validity of the existence of my friends, my family, me, EVERYONE who is not a wealthy white male.
I have to stay strong, stay healthy, stay safe. I have to keep going, and so should you. We can’t give up hope. We can’t give up now. We have to keep fighting for the future, for lives yet lived.
And I’m exhausted.
My brain feels fried and I am worn out.
On a lighter note, updates about my work…
Besides freelancing, I’ve been working on my novel. I have an amazing opportunity with my literary internship. My editor has offered to read and help me edit my novel. She is doing this because helping me work on edits for my own novel will help me hone my skills as a developmental editor for the publishing house.
This is amazing. I spent the week working on revising the first three chapters. I added detail to my manuscript (MS), tightened it up, and even wrote a rough draft of a book blurb and my best query letter to a literary agent. This is such an incredible opportunity for me, and I am still in shock at my luck.
I am getting feedback and help with my novel, AND I am gaining invaluable work experience as a literary intern. It’s like everything that I’ve been working so hard for is finally starting to line up. The dominoes are in place, I just need the right push, and it’ll all work out perfectly in the long run. I’m sure of it.
Balancing my personal and work life with everything else that’s going on right now is incredibly difficult. I’m having to micro-manage my time and news intake because I have been so stressed out and anxious. It’s hard for many people right now but we have to keep going. And we have to keep fighting.
Stay strong, stay healthy, and stay safe my friends.
Much Love,
Alina
Black Lives Matter Resources/Info:
Linktr.ee has compiled amazing resources/info, you can find the link too all of them in my Lintr.ee profile:
Also, if you are a fellow Utahn support Utah’s own Black Lives Matter!
If you liked this post check out these:
Why I’m Not Celebrating Independence Day This Year
Podcast Sesh #2 June 18th, 2020: Writing, Freelancing and Coping with the George Floyd Protests
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