Life During COVID-19: Reflecting on the Murder of Robert Fuller, Trump and a Personal Update

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Alina Happy Hansen May 2020 Photo Credit: Dallas Basta

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. To be honest, it’s because I am swamped with freelance and internship work. And I’m having a hard time processing the unrest and events that are happening in the U.S. right now on top of COVID-19.

Besides my freelancing, internship, and revising my novel, I am struggling to have hope for the future. Last night I read about Robert Fuller and the three other Black Americans that were found murdered, hanging from trees.

Read more about the hangings here.

THIS is happening in 2020. What year are we living in? Horrifying. Devastating. I was trying my best not to cry last night, and I need to stop checking the news before I go to bed but, I’m glad I found out. It is heart-breaking. 

These murders are the same as lynchings; this vile inhuman act represents the worst of humanity. I am in shock and I am afraid. Black lives matter and my deepest sympathies go out to the family and friends of the murdered, the dead. 

I struggle to keep hope that things can change. That there is some light at the end of it all, at the end of this year, but this is too much. I think I may be hitting a breaking point. I feel useless, helpless, unable to do anything. How can I? I am just one white woman, one privileged white woman.

But I have to keep doing something. I’ve been signing petitions and donating. I’ve donated almost $100 to various Black Lives Matter organizations and George Floyd’s family. I’m signing and sharing petitions every single day. I just know I can do more.

On top of it all, Trump’s blatant acts, his rally, the timing, and the place, disgusting. Racist, cheat, lying, crook. This is not a leader for our country; this is a tyrant who wants to be a dictator.

Fuck Trump. 

Does it help that he moved the date of his rally from Juneteenth? Too little, too late, America received your message Trump. You are racist and continue to display leadership to your white supremacist supporters. 

I have the deepest hatred for Trump. He continues to use rhetoric that actively aims to obliterate the validity of the existence of my friends, my family, me, EVERYONE who is not a wealthy white male. 

I have to stay strong, stay healthy, stay safe. I have to keep going, and so should you. We can’t give up hope. We can’t give up now. We have to keep fighting for the future, for lives yet lived.

And I’m exhausted.

My brain feels fried and I am worn out.

On a lighter note, updates about my work…

Besides freelancing, I’ve been working on my novel. I have an amazing opportunity with my literary internship. My editor has offered to read and help me edit my novel. She is doing this because helping me work on edits for my own novel will help me hone my skills as a developmental editor for the publishing house. 

This is amazing. I spent the week working on revising the first three chapters. I added detail to my manuscript (MS), tightened it up, and even wrote a rough draft of a book blurb and my best query letter to a literary agent. This is such an incredible opportunity for me, and I am still in shock at my luck.

I am getting feedback and help with my novel, AND I am gaining invaluable work experience as a literary intern. It’s like everything that I’ve been working so hard for is finally starting to line up. The dominoes are in place, I just need the right push, and it’ll all work out perfectly in the long run. I’m sure of it.

Balancing my personal and work life with everything else that’s going on right now is incredibly difficult. I’m having to micro-manage my time and news intake because I have been so stressed out and anxious. It’s hard for many people right now but we have to keep going. And we have to keep fighting.

Stay strong, stay healthy, and stay safe my friends.

Much Love,
Alina

Black Lives Matter Resources/Info:

Linktr.ee has compiled amazing resources/info, you can find the link too all of them in my Lintr.ee profile:

DONATE

EDUCATE

SHOW UP

Also, if you are a fellow Utahn support Utah’s own Black Lives Matter!

If you liked this post check out these:

Why I’m Not Celebrating Independence Day This Year

Podcast Sesh #2 June 18th, 2020: Writing, Freelancing and Coping with the George Floyd Protests


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Life During COVID-19 (5/30/2020): Reflection on George Floyd, Protests Turned Riots and Growing Tensions in the U.S.

This is My Personal Reflection on Events in the U.S. This Week.

The Murder of George FloydProtests turned Riots combined with the spread of COVID-19 and Record-Breaking Unemployment all combine with the growing tensions in the U.S. with an increase in possible societal combustion across the country. 

This week has been crazy. And I’ve been trying to moderate my intake of news. But this is too much. 

The murder of George Floyd, the protests, now riots, and this morning The New York Times Breaking News that Military police units are preparing for possible deployment,

“The move does not mean that the units will be activated, but it is a first step toward doing so, officials said. Deploying military police units — likely from Fort Bragg in North Carolina and Fort Drum in New York — would represent an escalation in the government response to the unfolding events, in an echo of past uprisings over racial tensions in America. Military police units were used in 1992 during the aftermath to the Rodney King verdict in California.” 

Source: “George Floyd Protests Latest Updates” – The New York Times 5/30/2020

Justice for George Floyd is necessary. And I can’t help thinking about how this week has brought more attention to the issue of systemic racism in the U.S.


I wrote about racist rhetoric, white-supremacy, and systemic racism as an undergrad:

Racist and Anti-Diversity Posters on Utah College Campuses: White Supremacist Rhetoric Analyzed with Selected Writings of Nietzsche, Foucault, Butler, and Ranciere

There was an increase of racist posters, graffiti, and rhetoric at The University of Utah and other nearby college campuses. I gathered reports of these events, and argued in my essay, that this was growing evidence that there is an organized white-supremacists presence with an agenda.

OPINION: Since the election of Trump in 2016, I believe there is an increase in the activity of white-supremacist organizations and the distribution of their rhetoric across the nation. This is a serious concern of mine. And the events of Charlottesville are still fresh in mind.


Increase in unemployment, loss of jobs, the rise of poverty, and now the protests and riots resulting from the murder of George Floyd; these are all elements when combined, can combust in violence and death. I fear that people will die as a result.

I can’t help it, I’m trying to stay positive, I’m trying not to stress, but I can’t ignore these signs that I feel are so blatant right now. Something is happening, something is going to happen, I just hope that it’s not military intervention, violence, and death.

Please stay safe out there. 

-Alina

What I have my eye on:

Voting this year, the 2020 Presidential Election

What I’m Reading: 

The devastating effects of COVID-19 on democracy – but what if there is a silver lining?” 

If you liked this blog post, check out these:

Why I’m Not Celebrating Independence Day This Year

Podcast Sesh #2 June 18, 2020: Writing, Freelancing and Coping with the George Floyd Protests

Life During COVID-19: Reflecting on the Murder of Robert Fuller, Trump and a Personal Update


Want to become one of my Patrons? Go to my page here and join a tier. All patrons regardless of Tier have access to all of my patron-only content right now! Tiers start at $3/month!

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Life During COVID-19 (5/28/2020): Writing to Stay Sane

I’m struggling. To stay positive, to keep it together.

I’m checking the news only twice a day now. Once, while I have breakfast and right before I go to bed. I think this practice has helped, and I’ve read about it frequently when it comes to managing stress levels about COVID-19.

But I don’t necessarily feel stressed out about COVID-19. Yes, I am concerned. I wear a mask when I go to public places like the grocery store, the only public place I’ve gone to besides Target since Mid-March. I am more worried about the next six months, the next year. I am concerned about how my life’s going to be by May 2021.

Every time I feel like I’m drowning in worry, in doubt, I have to stop and take a moment. I have to reaffirm to myself that I have to keep going, I’m not one to throw in the towel and give up. And I’m definitely not going to wallow in despair. My coping mechanism is to take action: do something. I have to. But right now, I don’t think I’m doing enough. And coming to terms that the illusion of control creates a false sense of security is my biggest problem. I am more aware now than ever that I have no control over anything, and the smartest thing I can do is keep going.

What does all this gibbering lead to? Writing

It’s all I have. It’s all I’m doing right now to stay sane. I have to write. I need to write. Writing is my anchor, keeping me right where I need to be, somewhere between my usual, level-headed, rational self and creative combustible artist.

I have regularly completed my daily goal of writing a minimum of 1,000 words a day. I recently took a crack at editing My First Novel, my first attempt over three months. I’ve been overwhelmed, let down by myself, putting my novel on the back burner. But now I have a renewed drive to finish my recent revision.

I am currently doing line-by-line edits. Revising to the structural core of my novel. Something I’ve found daunting the last year. I have tried to keep track, but I think this revision is number 6 or 7.

Completing my daily writing goal, writing half-baked poems here and there every day, and working on my novel has kept me grounded. And I’m tightly hanging on to my writing practices, the only thing that I find therapeutic and comforting during this strange time.

I don’t know what the future holds. I can’t waste time speculating. I have to take it one day at a time.

And every day, I am grateful. I think about how lucky I am to have a roof over my head, food in the kitchen, and my health. I am thankful that no one I know has died from the virus, chances are small, but it can still happen.

All I Can Do is Keep Writing

What have you been doing regularly during the COVID-19 Pandemic to keep you sane and grounded? Have you just started a new practice or hobby? I wanna know.

Besides writing, I’ve been baking like crazy, just like everyone else. I’ve revamped my Patreon page with content only patrons have access to. I’ve created a Facebook business page for my blog, started a Literary Internship for DLG Publishing Partners, and tried to make art and create music.

I want to know what you recommend. What you’ve found to be helpful. And I’d love to start a conversation with you. Feel free to leave a comment or contact me directly.

Stay safe and stay healthy, and to other writer’s out there, keep writing!

Cheers!
Alina


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I’m struggling. To stay positive, to keep it together.

I’m checking the news only twice a day now. Once, while I have breakfast and right before I go to bed. I think this practice has helped, and I’ve read about it frequently when it comes to managing stress levels about COVID-19.

But I don’t necessarily feel stressed out about COVID-19. Yes, I am concerned. I wear a mask when I go to public places like the grocery store, the only public place I’ve gone to besides Target since Mid-March. I am more worried about the next six months, the next year. I am concerned about how my life’s going to be by May 2021.

Every time I feel like I’m drowning in worry, in doubt, I have to stop and take a moment. I have to reaffirm to myself that I have to keep going, I’m not one to throw in the towel and give up. And I’m definitely not going to wallow in despair. My coping mechanism is to take action: do something. I have to. But right now, I don’t think I’m doing enough. And coming to terms that the illusion of control creates a false sense of security is my biggest problem. I am more aware now than ever that I have no control over anything, and the smartest thing I can do is keep going.

What does all this gibbering lead to? Writing

It’s all I have. It’s all I’m doing right now to stay sane. I have to write. I need to write. Writing is my anchor, keeping me right where I need to be, somewhere between my usual, level-headed, rational self and creative combustible artist.

I have regularly completed my daily goal of writing a minimum of 1,000 words a day. I recently took a crack at editing My First Novel, my first attempt over three months. I’ve been overwhelmed, let down by myself, putting my novel on the back burner. But now I have a renewed drive to finish my recent revision.

I am currently doing line-by-line edits. Revising to the structural core of my novel. Something I’ve found daunting the last year. I have tried to keep track, but I think this revision is number 6 or 7.

Completing my daily writing goal, writing half-baked poems here and there every day, and working on my novel has kept me grounded. And I’m tightly hanging on to my writing practices, the only thing that I find therapeutic and comforting during this strange time.

I don’t know what the future holds. I can’t waste time speculating. I have to take it one day at a time.

And every day, I am grateful. I think about how lucky I am to have a roof over my head, food in the kitchen, and my health. I am thankful that no one I know has died from the virus, chances are small, but it can still happen.

All I Can Do is Keep Writing

What have you been doing regularly during the COVID-19 Pandemic to keep you sane and grounded? Have you just started a new practice or hobby? I wanna know.

Besides writing, I’ve been baking like crazy, just like everyone else. I’ve revamped my Patreon page with content only patrons have access to. I’ve created a Facebook business page for my blog, started a Literary Internship for DLG Publishing Partners, and tried to make art and create music.

I want to know what you recommend. What you’ve found to be helpful. And I’d love to start a conversation with you. Feel free to leave a comment or contact me directly.

Stay safe and stay healthy, and to other writer’s out there, keep writing!

Cheers!
Alina


 

Want to become one of my Patrons? Go to my page here and join a tier. All patrons regardless of Tier have access to all of my patron-only content right now! Tiers start at $3/month! I will also send you via snailmail a handwritten personalized Poem + Thank you card for becoming a patron.

Become a Subscriber! Get notified when new posts are published plus once a week I will send content just for you: poem, personal update, reading list, writing tips and more!

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Life During COVID-19 (5/21/2020): Novel Writing, My Birthday and Opinions

For the past couple of days, I have been working on my Novel. The one I have been telling my followers about for over a year now. This week I am focusing on doing developmental edits, something I have been doing for Freelance Clients and my Literary Internship

Recently, I’ve found myself obsessed with the structure of stories: plot, characters, dialogue. Even when I am reading, I find myself picking content apart, analyzing it from different viewpoints, and rereading. I never thought I’d become so obsessed.

The advantages of my obsession: I am more aware now than ever before when writing is working and when it’s not regardless of its form. Cons? At this point, I can’t just read. I analyze every piece of written content that comes across my path. 

Check out my blog posts about Writing My First Novel

My Birthday

This Sunday is my birthday, I will be 27, not that old but definitely not young. I keep forgetting about it. Since the entire world feels like it’s going through this surreal time with the COVID-19 Pandemic. For most of Utah, except for specific areas including Salt Lake City, we have phased to “Yellow/Low Risk”. It is bizarre to think that we’re already practically in June; half the year is gone. I’ve spent two months unemployed, applying to jobs, and staying home. 

When it comes to celebrating, My BF is planning a special dinner for me, and we might go for a quick drive to get out of the city. I am excited to relax this weekend, I need a break from it all, it’s been so stressful, and it’s been so long since life was the way it used to be. I don’t think things will ever be the same. If there is something we can do to celebrate my birthday like we’ve done in the past, to bring some kind of familiarity back into our lives, it will help.

COVID-19 in Salt Lake City, Utah

Salt Lake City is still in the “Orange/Moderate Risk” phase, with select restrictions, rules, and procedures in place to try to slow the spread of COVID-19. Our death count as of today is 90.

What I’ve got my eye on, the Navajo Nation. Their death count is at 140. They are need of supplies, food, and testing. Donations have been set up to help. In my opinion, there is very little news coverage, or just barely some attention being given to the Navajo Nation during the Pandemic. This is unacceptable. One example, in my opinion, of how particular people’s stories are not being given the attention they deserve to spread the word that they need help and resources. 

Opinion: Trump and Voting in the 2020 Election

Another concern of mine: voting. Trump continues to try to hinder multiple states move to the mail-in ballot voting system. Luckily, Utah is one of the few states that have already been doing this for years. In my opinion, Trump’s obvious efforts to stop any kind of progress in making voting safer during this Pandemic, accessible, and easy for all is evidence that he is well aware he could lose by a landslide if more people can vote. 

There has always been obstacles in place to prevent people from voting. From having voting centers only open specific hours and days, when many full-time working people can’t take time off to go vote. Now, Trump pushes for more rules and regulationsHis argument that mail-in ballots allow for fraud, and people voting multiple times, again like his other claims, are not backed up by any facts, data, or substantial evidence.

Unemployed: Searching and Applying for Jobs

I’m still looking for full-time work. But I have become increasingly open to having two part-time jobs. I think that this may be more likely since I am finding more part-time job postings for copywriting, content writers, and freelance writers online. Yesterday, I applied to ten jobs. This week I’ve done two interviews but have still to hear back from anyone. 

Freelancing

I have been doing more Freelance Writing the past two weeks. This has been fun but my friends think that I am employed because of this. It’s contract; on a case-by-case basis, and I’ve had to seek out clients. It’s not full-time regular, dependable employment or pay. Starting in March, I have been pitching story ideas to various online journals that pay. It is a laborious and grueling process, you have to stick with it. I am hoping to get the OK-Go on a couple articles from Editors soon. 

Staying Positive, Staying Strong and Not Giving Up

It has become increasingly hard for me to stay positive. Spending the last two months searching and applying to jobs with what feels like no progress is devastating. I am constantly reminded by my BF that these are weird times and it can take longer for me to find a job or two because of the Pandemic. The unemployment rate for the U.S. is skyrocketing still. An estimated 14.7% of the U.S. is unemployed. I can’t give up. I have to be persistent. There is no other choice. And I feel, now more than ever, that returning to work in a restaurant would be unwise. 

I’ve taken stock of what’s important to me, in my life, how I want to spend my time, and the growing awareness that all of us don’t know how much time we really have to live. No more BS, or messing around, I have to make changes in my life. 

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read about my life during COVID-19. My goal is to document my life, at least once a week, during this Pandemic. It is vital to archive what we’re going through during strange events like this one, so we need as much documentation as possible about our individual lives. I believe that this information will be crucial for future generations when they find themselves in similar situations. My message to you, to them; don’t give up, no matter what, DON’T. GIVE. UP. 

XOXO,

Alina

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Why I’m Not Celebrating Independence Day This Year (Opens in a new browser tab)

Life During COVID-19 (6/6/2020): George Floyd Protests and My White Woman Privilege(Opens in a new browser tab)

Podcast Sesh #2 June 18, 2020: Writing, Freelancing and Coping with the George Floyd Protests(Opens in a new browser tab)

My Stories on Medium: Poetry, Writing and Freelancing(Opens in a new browser tab)

Life During COVID-19 (5/13/2020): Freelancing, Patreon and New Toys

What a crazy week! I am spinning from how much has happened. 

This will be a short and sweet post because I am swamped with stuff I need to get done.

Freelancing on fiverr.com

Yesterday, I completed my first ever Fiverr gig. It was a fun experience, and the buyer that I worked with amazing. Check out my services on fiverr.com, I offer Beta Reading, Blog/Article Writing, and Critiquing Creative Writing. 

Internship

After a week-long break, I am back to work for my internship. I am excited to read new submissions and gain more experience. This internship has been incredibly fun so far, and I think this is because it is a professional and well-organized internship. So much better than my last internship!

Freelancing for Friends

Yesterday, I was called by one of my close friends and asked to help them edit and format their short stories. I am excited to be doing this extra freelance work on the side. I never thought people I know would be reaching out to me for my help on things I love to do! 

More Freelancing…

Currently, I am reaching out to numerous online magazines and journals, pitching them stories. Hopefully, I will catch a Freelance assignment soon and make some more extra cash. 

Free Online Classes

Right now I am taking free online courses through edx.org

I am enrolled in the following courses

  • Writing for Social Media
  • Intro to Music Theory
  • Ancient Masterpieces of World Literature
  • The Icelandic Sagas

And I have already enrolled in English Grammar & Style that starts on July 26th. I think this course will help me hone my editing and writing skills. 

Patreon

I am updating my Patreon page. I haven’t worked on it since last Spring, and it has been severely neglected. It’s been on my mind lately, and I’ve been thinking about how I could utilize my Patreon page and provide more of an intimate “behind-the-scenes” access to my personal writing life to my blog and social media followers. Here is what I am putting together:

For PATRON-ONLY Access (Monthly Subscribers)

  • Scanned copies of my handwritten poems (not published anywhere else online)
  • Scanned copies of my daily writing notes (not published anywhere else online)
  • Exclusive videos available to PATRONS-ONLY featuring me reading some of my poetry and writing
  • Podcast-like updates about what is going on in my life related explicitly to pursuing my writing career, working on my novel, submitting poems to literary journals, and what I am currently reading

Starting today, I will be offering “Handwritten Thank You Card + Poem” to all Patrons; this unique offer is scheduled to end on 06/30/2020 at 12:00 p.m.

These handwritten Thank You Cards with be accompanied by one of my handwritten poems, unique and never published. Thank you, cards, and poetry will be mailed to Patrons directly via snail mail. 

 I will be updating posts and content on my Patreon page for the next week, and I will be posting new PATRON-ONLY content starting Friday. 

New Toys!

My bf got me a Rocketbook for my birthday and decided to give it to me early. It is so cool. What it is is a reusable notebook that you use to write and scan pages directly to your email and/or Google Drive cloud. This is a fantastic tool, and I will be using it all the time. It will be my tool of choice for posting PATRON-ONLY handwritten poems, notes, and writing to my Patreon page.

New Kindle! For the first time since I was laid off back in March because of COVID-19, I have bought something I don’t need a new kindle! It is beautiful, waterproof, and I love it. 

Job Search & Interviews

Lately, I have been burning out. In the last three days, I have applied to an average of eight jobs every day. It has been exhausting, and I feel like my brain is fried. I am trying to not stress out, but with June fast approaching, I am worried I won’t be able to find full-time work before the CARES ACT unemployment runs out (end of July). But I am staying positive, I have been able to save money, pay off debt, and pay my rent and bills. 

This week I had an excellent interview for an Editor Position at a local business. Fingers crossed I make it to the next round of interviews. This position is part-time and would be perfect for my schedule. I also have a video interview through HireVue that I have to complete, it is for a Copywriter position, so I hope that that one goes well. 

Overall

It has been a great week, and my days are packed. From 8:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. I am working in my office at home getting as much done as I can until dinner time.

Thank you for reading about my personal life during these strange days. What I think is bizarre right now is how it is beginning to feel normal staying home all of the time because of COVID-19. This new normal is unsettling to me and my bf, but I can’t help feeling that this will be the new normal for the rest of the year. Staying home, working from home, being…home.

Stay safe and stay healthy!

-Alina


Want to become one of my Patrons? Go to my page here and join a tier. All patrons regardless of Tier have access to all of my patron-only content right now! Tiers start at $3/month!

Subscribe! Get notified when new posts are published plus once a week I will send content just for you: poem, personal update, reading list, writing tips and more!

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Why I’m Not Celebrating Independence Day This Year(Opens in a new browser tab)

My Stories on Medium: Poetry, Writing and Freelancing(Opens in a new browser tab)

Life During COVID-19 (6/6/2020): George Floyd Protests and My White Woman Privilege(Opens in a new browser tab)