Waiting [a short story]

Here is a short story I am currently working on. Consider this a somewhat polished rough draft. The story revolves around Marc, a man that has an outburst in a hospital waiting room.

Thank you for reading my work!

 


Waiting by Alina Happy Hansen

 

Marc looked solemn as he flicked through the magazines in the parlor. The nurse at the reception desk glanced over in his direction every once in awhile, her hand inches away from the phone just in case. The chairs had been put back where they belonged, papers and garbage thrown away and the entire room was now restored to its previous neatness before Marc’s outburst. A vein on his forehead was still prominently pulsing but his face was no longer flushed. He appeared to be completely calm now.

A few people trickled into the office and in a matter of minutes there was a break in the tension felt in the room between the nurse receptionist and Marc. But even as the minutes sped by he continued to revisit and shuffle through the same five magazines within his reach. The pictures meant nothing, the words a blur, Marc only went through the motions to divert attention from himself and his own irritation.

His wife was somewhere in the labyrinth of halls, somewhere far away and possibly in pain. They had grown worried about their unborn child a few days before and finally scheduled an appointment to see their doctor. But it had now been over two and half hours since they first arrived and his wife had disappeared behind a shut door. She wanted to be alone, wanted to talk the doctor privately, not in front of Marc.

Marc tried thinking about work, about the home, about all the errands he had to do this weekend as he was grinding his teeth and trying to keep his eyes away from the reception desk. His outbursts were embarrassing and rarely occurred but the mounting worry that he had felt during the first hour finally exploded when the nurse had told him that the doctor was not done evaluating his wife. His temper, his frustration, and feeling of lack of control is what drove him to throw a few things around and yell like an overgrown child.

Did she tell them? Did his wife tell the doctor about the incident that happened two weeks ago? Did she tell her parents? Her friends? The housemaid? Marc’s frustration was mounting yet again and he felt like he was going to burst. The image of his wife slipping in the bathroom, the sound of thud her body made on the tiled floor. His constant worry about his wife and child had led him to the point where he could barely sleep or eat because the loss and pain that had plagued him and his wife for the last five years was overwhelming and never-ending.

This was not the first time they had had to come to the doctor, this was not the first pregnancy but again it was possibly their first child. Marc had found himself stressed between his work and his wife where his constant worry had pushed him over the edge. Too many times had his heart suffered, to be overjoyed and elated with a pregnancy then torn up with his wife’s heartbreaking sobs and another loss. It was too much for Marc to be in that office again waiting for the news he was going to receive.

A quiet voice called to him, he looked up, the nurse was approaching him her hand now on his shoulder. They were finally done with the evaluation, the doctor was ready to talk to him, his wife was just fine. Marc’s heart jumped into his chest and he quickly followed the nurse to one of the rooms down the maze-like hallways. In one of the abrasively white and fluorescently lit rooms, his wife sat there in a chair her face no longer pale or stained with tears. It was beaming and warm. Marc felt instant relief and wrapped his arms around her. The doctor rummaging through paperwork looked up and smiled. Everything was going to be ok this time.


 

Thank you for reading my work! I hope you will return in the future! 

-Alina 

Response to Jane Eyre and Discussion on Creating Complex Characters

 
Jane Eyre
photo source: goodreads.com

I recently finished reading for nth time Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte  (first published 1847) I find myself usually rereading this novel every winter out of habit. I love this novel for so many different reasons but the main one being that Jane is smart, witty and stands up for herself which should not be taken lightly. The novel is set in the early to mid 19th century and revolves around the story of Jane Eyre from her youth to adult years. Her life story is full of loneliness, pain, seclusion, and hardship. The main subject of the novel is the love story between Jane and Mr. Rochester, a man about twenty years her senior who hires Jane as a governess for a child he has taken into his home. Besides the love story, a plot which is full of drama and secrets, there are aspects of the novel that really stand out to me.

I am a Writer, obviously, and I do like to write in short fiction. Fiction is a genre that resounds with me on a creative level whenever I may have too many words for just poems. The issue of creating characters that are not one dimensional is one of the elements that I find myself occupied with the most. I have read multiple books with advice on how to create lifelike three-dimensional characters through writing and I found myself amazed (yet again) when reading Bronte’s writing the details and layers that she uses in making Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester so complex. A reoccurring theme in most of the books on fiction writing that I read is that adding complexities to your character (for instance a character that hates liars but in fact lies constantly) is one of the ways in which your character can come to life. A key piece of advice that keeps popping up for me now is also, “Show, don’t tell.” Which is a part of my writing that I have struggled with from the beginning.

How do I show readers through words what my character is like as a person? How do I do this through dialogue, action, and narration without making my writing feel forced?

I know this is not a new question and it is a possibility that whoever reads this post may be dealing with the same obstacles in their own writing. If so, I would love to read some comments on how you, as a writer, try to create complex lifelike characters, what books have you read? what advice have you heard?

As for me, here are a few books that I have read (or am reading) that have been invaluable in my constant learning to write regardless if its fiction, prose, or poetry.

 

 

photo source: amazon.com

Writing Fiction: The Practical Guide from New York’s Acclaimed Creative Writing School

 

 

 

photo source: amazon.com

Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within by Natalie Goldberg

 

 

photo source: amazon.com

Bird by Bird: Some Instruction on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott

 

On Writing: A Memoir Of The Craft by [King, Stephen]
photo source: amazon.com
On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

 

I am constantly searching for more books about writing, how to write, and study literature. If anyone has any suggestions please leave them in a comment below! If you would like me to respond to a question about writing please also feel free to message me or leave the question in a comment below!

Thank you so much to all my readers (new and old) for taking time out of your day to read my writing! I hope you will return in the future!

-Alina

 

 

 

Free Hand #111 (Where is the Snow?)

Watching the leaves crumble into dust

into dirt, waiting for the snow to come,

hoping that it doesn’t come, hoping that

it never does. Ice freezes and snow blankets

a cold chill on everything, killing it with

ease and a softness that reminds me

of death.


 

Thank you for reading my work! I hope you will return in the future! 

-Alina