Here are some excerpts from my May and June Notebooks. I use regular composition notebooks to write in, take notes, and attempt poetry and fiction. I have filled one entire Notebook every month for the last few years. I find it to be a good habit that keeps my writing and my mind fresh.
+ signifies breaks in sections of writing/poems
(MAY 2017)
How I bleed.
Let it fall down, marble, the cold sky. And the clouds are fat in the neat of the sky.
What are the words that break each other?
Up and out, down and inside it all.
How death becomes reality eventually for all of us.
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How glass sounds, smashing glass,
smashing it all. The sting in the eardrums.
The sting of pain that bellows and coldly crumbles.
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and situated coldly across the old sky wandering
her eyes reflected a pain that was not found.
In it all, was not found among the wreckage of her personality.
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Why do we care about the theory of a god? the existence of one, at all?
What does that mean? All the power that corrupts the hearts of man.
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Writing between us. Writing it all, climb into nowhere and pulverize, pulverize the summer sun. My heart beats, beats clean, crisp and cold all my eyes return into the holy error of death. Calm and sweet my body blossoms into nothing. I am nothing.
(JUNE 2017)
My mind burns, could you find me, any colder? The eyes of my heart return to a death that I can no longer find. Why my body bends and breaks, closes completely.
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Words written on these pages-what does everyone know? My blood burns like no one else, my mind poisonous to everyone. Burning them into a burning light but I am so cold.
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My skin turns blue until there is nothing left of me until there is…nothing.
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Sweet flowers that destroy you, into the forgotten night. My eyes drift silently into nothing.
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What do the words mean? Do they mean anything? I’m not quite sure anymore.
If you are reading this Thank You for taking time out of your day to read my writing!
I hope you will return in the future!
-Alina
