University of Utah Student Dead After A Carjacking

Today classes are canceled at the University of Utah due to the death of student ChenWei Guo last night during a carjacking in the Red Butte Canyon.

ChenWei Guo (Photo courtesy University of Utah)

ChenWei Guo (photo source:

The suspect, Austin J. Boutain, is still at large and police are searching.

Austin J. Boutain (Photo courtesy Marion County, Ohio, jail)

Austin J. Boutain (photo source:

The University of Utah’s President released a message in response to the event. More information is provided by The Salt Lake Tribune in the following article, as well as The Daily Utah Chronicle

This a tragic day for the Salt Lake City community and the University of Utah. Support for students is provided in counseling centers all over the UofU. Everyone is impacted by this senseless act of violence. My deepest condolences to the family and friends of ChenWei Guo.


UPDATE: Austin J. Boutain was found and taken into custody yesterday.

Free Hand #92 (the crack in the wall)

The crack in the wall, it begins to tear

and crumbles over the years. Th pain fades

and chips off in large chunks, littering the floor.

Continual decay.


Thank you for reading my work! I hope you will return in the future! 


Free Hand #91 (Forgetting to the Beat of War Drums)

My poems have been all over the place recently, this is no exception. 


A rhythm pulsating and cold, let us return to the hell of

war drums in our minds. The line that traces and seeks

me out, to write itself upon me. Memories that are

torn up and discarded or burned. I cannot retrieve them.


Thank you for reading my writing! I hope you will return in the future! 


Free Hand #90 (Sylvia and others)

The words in my mouth grow stale

and I think of Sylvia, and think of Woolf

how they countered so much sadness to keep on writing

how hard it is to write, like Adrienne, like Austen, and Bronte

to keep going until there is nothing left but words and passion.


Thank you for reading my work! I hope you will return in the future!


Thoughts on the Action of Claiming One’s Own Identity

I belong nowhere in this world because of who I am, what I am, and what I identify as. I am ‘unremarkable’ and a ‘problem’ to society. I am not my sex and I am not my gender, I am I, without and with influence from the world. I have taken what was forced on me and I reject it. I make my own identity. It is not for anyone to decide if I am a Woman, a Female, or if I am feminine enough to qualify. I will not bend my head into submission and will not ‘sit down and be quiet’. I am not sorry. I will not ask for forgiveness for anything I have done or said because my actions are ‘unjust’. My actions are moral, my actions are right and fair because they do for me what no one else can which claims my identity as my own, as I define it.

It is with these actions of mine, my marked ‘defiance’ against everything forced on me, that I hope to make a small step towards the liberation of all that are constantly pressured to fit into a certain form and definition that includes duties and expected behaviors relating to sex and gender. And It will not stop at sex and gender, it will go beyond to Race, a predominate identifier that requires liberation from presuppositions within society that again try to define who or what a person is and more importantly their worth. We must start at the core of sex and gender which are interwoven with identity and race and redefine their meaning, their functions, and their ‘place’ within society in order to gain freedom.

I want to act and inspire others to act and gain their own deliverance in hopes that one day there will be no definitive function, structure, formula, or operation for what is a ‘Man’ or a ‘Woman’ or more simply who is a ‘Person’. I want freedom for all from the pressures of ‘masculinity’ and ‘feminity’, from ‘Man’ and ‘Woman’, from ‘Worth’ and ‘Race’. I want freedom for the self because every being should have the right to their own freedom and definition of worth within a society.

There are walls to be torn down, barriers to be broken, and voices to be heard. The generations after should be free and undefinable by anyone except themselves. To be treasured and valued by others for who you are as you know yourself to be, as a multifaceted being that cannot be easily simplified or categorized or identified within a society, is a dream worth acting on. Our dreams today will be realities for generations of the future.

So I will not ‘shut up’, I will not ‘sit down’. I will look you in the eye and tell you who I am because I am not afraid to be honest, or real, or true to myself and others like me. I will use these words as actions and I will not be ‘quiet’.

Sincerely and Justly,

Alina Happy Hansen


Free Hand #87 (Light turns me to Ash)

And light looks down into the crowd, and spotlights on your body

the day that climbs up and into the mouth is regurgitated. Hold me

down until my bones crack and break from strain, my blood runs

runs, runs, there is nothing left of me. Just this light, my mind, my ash.


If you’re reading this Thank You for taking time out of your day to read my writing! 

I hope that you will return in the future! 


FREE HAND # 86 (When Words Lose Meaning)

These bold letters keep me occupied inside

a world inside a world that is no longer

a reality for anyone including me. The words

lose all meaning, in their contortion in their

twisted malfunction to do as they should.

They become meaningless echoes of

what they once meant.


Thank you for reading my writing! I hope you will return in the future! 


Free Hand #85 (Not Sure What To Do)

I am not a big fan of rhyming poetry but I’m feeling a little playful tonight.


Not sure what to do,

reading e.e. Cummings, reading Woolf

reading Goethe, and Rilke,

and Camus, not sure who,

might as well read Bronte too.


If you are reading this Thank You for taking the time out of your day to read my writing! 

I hope you will return in the future!