Nine Inch Nails: Soundtrack to a Life I’ve Never Lived

Among the countless bands that I listen to there is not a single one that can compare to Nine Inch Nails. Founded by Trent Reznor in the late 1980’s (wiki) who has outlasted so many of his contemporaries. NIN (latter ‘N’ should be reversed) and other bands/projects by/with Reznor have a heart of their own, beating with the electric pulse of the modern world. Reznor has gone beyond as a musician, artist and composer. His unique style and technique in the production of music is like no other. From the raw hell of Pretty Hate Machine to the echoing screams of Not the Actual Events (nin.com) the works of NIN/Reznor are unmatched.

I can’t remember the first moment I heard NIN  but I feel like they must’ve been playing in the background for a good part of my childhood. My parents and relatives were always listening to music and between my Aunt, Uncle, and my Father I was exposed to a variety of music from the 1980’s on.

In High School I became deeply obsessed with bands like Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson and Tool. I would spend hours looking through my Father’s CD collection, picking out random ones and popping them into my portable disk player. There was a huge range of music that I was exposed to thanks to my Father’s open mindedness and I credit my ability to explore and reference music to these days.

Every month I revisit multiple NIN albums and find myself re-exploring familiar territory but discovering something new every time.  I love it all to death and back but always pick up Pretty Hate Machine (spinning it on vinyl, nothing can compare), Ghosts I-IV, Hesitation Marks, and The Downward Spiral (nin.com). Usually I climb back and forth between these albums and others but always return to the brutal hearts of these four albums.

I immerse myself into the music, usually taking time out of my day to just sit down and listen to a record or a handful of songs at a time, trying to pick out parts and pieces. The words within the exploding lyrics that still echo in my mind after all these years haunt me and now I realize that these words inspired me early on to write. The time I take to do this is priceless and I feel that it is ultimately therapeutic. Next to Art and Writing, Music is as crucial part of my life that has contributed to a large collage soundtrack of memorable, horrible, dark, and wonderful moments of my life; not only echoing or playing in the background but expressing my life on a deeper level; emotionally audible.

The magnetic pull back to NIN and Reznor’s music keeps me going. Maybe I am responding to the rawness of it all, the anguish, pain and isolation that is expressed within the music. Maybe it is the tone and technique that feels like a synthetic world and an old world are colliding. Maybe it is the exploration of the digital and technological paired with the struggle of a self reflective mind and animal instincts that still possess humankind. Maybe it is the fresh wound made from living in this world that will never heal. Maybe NIN is the soundtrack to a life I’ve never lived.

Sources: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nine_Inch_Nails, http://www.nin.com/

If you’re reading this, Thank You for taking time out of your day to read my writing! I hope you return in the future!

-Alina

Reflection: Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling

Notebook Excerpts #2: March 2017

Here is the second ‘Notebook Excerpts’ post. These bits are from the recently completed notebook from March 2017.

Thank you for reading!


key: + marks breaks in writing

+

The color fades from the sky, and

the hardest part is

letting go. Letting the sun set-completely-

I can’t do this.

+

There is an edge to the blade that makes it all the more appealing.

+

We’re disturbed by the quietness of the blood/the way in which it flows.

All these nights bury themselves against our pain.

+

The bitterness in my heart throbs every once in a while.

+

The sun is coming out-and the

body bathes in the light till

there is no light left.

And what do I do? To survive?

What do I do? For you, how is

that possible?

Am I cold, dislodged and

fallen apart?

I’m not sure.

+

Listening to the Robert Johnson record I got today.

“Best of” record. I am surprised by how much I know

all these songs. And I am again overwhelmed and bathing in his music.

His voice

The emotion behind it.

He doesn’t need a band/never did need one. He’s got it all with his

guitar.

-So Slick

(Delta Blues)

+

And these thoughts bubble in

my head. all that comes around,

you fade and follow me-into

the disillusioned mind.

+

The Knife that CUTS

the words that cling to

my dying body.

Mouth opens completely.

+


If you are reading this Thank YOU for taking time out of your day to read my writing. I hope you return in the future!

Thank you!

-Alina

Celebrating National Poetry Month for 2017!

Hello Readers!

I wanted to announce my plans for my blog this month and what to expect with special consideration for National Poetry Month.

I plan on publishing mainly poetry pieces and book lists (emphasizing heavily on poetry) in celebration. I will also probably write up pieces on a few of my all time favorite poets (and why I love them so much).

I am so exited to read as much poetry as I can find on wordpress this month and look forward to reading your work (if I follow you or find you). If you’d like to leave a link to your poetry/writing blog below go for it. Or if you have any suggestions for topics/posts this month that you’d like me to consider please leave a comment.

Again, super excited about this month and can’t wait to give you all some fresh poetry!


Thank you for taking the time to read my writing and announcements. I hope you return in the future!

Thank you!

-Alina

My Top Five Favorite Books: Poetry and Fiction

These are my top five books that I either (A) think about at least once a day (B) have read multiple times and can’t put down or (B) that I completely love. If I were to put down all the books that can be included within A,B, and C, this would be a huge post! So to keep it short and to the point here are five books that as of right now I feel are indispensable to other writers and lovers of poetry and fiction.


Imaginations by William Carlos Williams

Ulysses by James Joyce

Orlando by Virginia Woolf

The Beat Book: Writings from the Beat Generation Edited by Anne Waldman

The Vintage Book of Contemporary American Poetry Edited by J.D. McClatchy

Firstly, Imaginations is a book with such beautiful language I am left highlighting and underlining almost every part. Williams is one of my favorite poets and when I found this book I was elated. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. Now I read and reread certain parts completely obsessed with the structure and imagery that he uses. Love this book.

Ulysses, a book I attempted to read on my own a few years ago but felt overwhelmed and stupid after trying. It was the first book that I ever picked up that made me feel like the content and style was over my head. It wasn’t until I took a Joyce class up at the University of Utah which focused mainly on Ulysses that I was able to understand this bible of language and style. Given the right tools and information required this book exploded before my eyes as one of the greatest novels ever written. I return periodically to reread certain parts of Ulysses whenever I feel inspired to write something dangerous.

Orlando,  not the only Woolf book I’ve read but one of my absolute favorites. When I first began reading Orlando I was thinking about the possibility of creating a character that moves beyond sexuality and gender. Although it is not exactly about this Orlando was close to it and inspirational to read. I fell back into reading  Woolf harder than ever after that and got lost in her work for the next few months.

The Beat Book: Writings from the Beat Generation , this book has the background information and key works by some of the most influential Beat Poets (of course, Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac). I usually jump around from chapter to chapter and research more on the Poets that speak to me. Which is difficult because I’ve already ended up researching about half the poets in the book and I’m not done. This is a perfect resource for learning about the Beat Poets and their work.

The Vintage Book of Contemporary American Poetry, contains selections from some of my favorite poets including Adrienne Rich, Elizabeth Bishop, Theodore Roethke, Frank O’ Hara, Galway Kinnell and Gary Snyder just to name a few. I have loved this book for a couple years now and always pick it up when I want to return to my favorites.


I hope this short list helps someone out there that needs more inspiration!

Thank you for reading and taking time out of your day to visit. I hope you return in the future!

Thank you!

-Alina

Discussion: Returning to Trainspotting with the Release of T2

Trainspotting Poster

(photo source: imdb.com)

Trainspotting directed by Danny Boyle came out in 1996. I was just a toddler when it was released but first saw it in my teens. It was accompanied with a slew of movies that were deemed ‘classic’ by my friends and family which included  A Clockwork Orange (1971), SLC Punk (1998) and Fight Club (1999) among others.

I remember watching Trainspotting, being disgusted and slightly horrified but intrigued by its appearance and dialogue. It would later become one of my favorite movies and I would watch it over and over again, collect Irvine Welsh books (writer of the original story)  and hang a poster up on my wall. I found myself coming back to Trainspotting periodically, attracted by its message, its grittiness and the magnetic pull it had on me.

Recently I’ve become aware that I admire things from past generations (big surprise, so does everyone else) but specifically movies and music from twenty years ago (just like everyone else my age). For me my love of this era came from my parents and relatives, they did good in letting me listen to the hundreds of CD’s they had collected and watching their favorite movies with them. I grew to admire these things not from forced exposure but from my sponge like ability to absorb and process everything I came across.

So can I relate to Trainspotting ?

Since I am twenty years younger than the generation that it was intended for, I am left out and find myself admiring from a ‘time’ related distance. But I feel like our generations are two stages of the same evolution. Youth adapting to technological advances, to drugs, crime and money (or lack thereof) due to city life and the decay that can be seen within society and the world.

The basic instincts of youth are still there. “I want to be somebody, I want money, I want satisfaction.” Mix in the addictive life associated with my generation (instant satisfaction and a life broadcasted on social media) there is a bridge between time and a connection is found.

I cannot speak for my entire generation and I am not attempting to either.

But it is my own perception (and others) that we are an addicted generation (obsessed with superficiality and technology) that we differ in degrees of extremes (we may want to fix the world and make change or make money and become famous). Maybe it has always been like this? (Yes) But it feels like because of the technology available to younger and younger generations our lives are being drastically changed at supersonic speeds. We are overloaded with information, addicted and obsessed, we are connected to millions of people through technology and exposed to them at the same time.

Blah, blah, blah. This may not make any sense. I may be rambling off into the distance and I know that if I were to back up my claim that Trainspotting is relatable for my generation because we are dealing with the same pain and decay as the characters were twenty years ago, I would need some actual evidence and research.

But this section on my blog is specifically for reflection and simple analysis. (Or I guess my horrendous ramblings!)

To put it short,

Trainspotting is an important influence on my life (creatively and personally) as a writer and artist I’ve found it and similar works to be priceless. Trainspotting helps to inspire, to expand the mind and delve deep into the darkest parts of the heart and soul.

So I plan on seeing T2 soon.

I am thrilled, hopeful and scared to see it. I cannot wait to find out just how much it’ll add up, if not, hopefully contribute to Trainspotting.

I may post a response to T2 and this post after I see it. If I decide to, it will be posted in about two weeks.

Comments are welcomed below. If you have thoughts, experiences or more to add on my brief reflection please do so.


If you are reading this, Thank you for taking time out of your day to read my writing. I hope you return in the future!

Thank you!

-Alina